See How it Spreads
by jda
Summary: COMPLETE! ANGST warning! Sara has cancer again, but this time, there are more lives that will be affected.
1. Chapter 1

Hi!!! This story is for everyone who wanted N/S in 'Oh Baby!' I decided to start it now before Sara Sidle Stokes, Nat, Candace Fabulous and a whole host of others hunted me down. . .  
  
Also, this story is more or less a dedication to all the women I know who have gotten cancer in the last year (there are a LOT of them, it's actually kind of scary)  
  
Disclaimer: Nothing belongs to me if it's seen of the show (that's obvious) And don's sue me, Mr. Bruckheimer (however you spell it) I don't have a job, and the best I could do to pay you back is wash dishes for the rest of my life. . .  
  
Summery: "If I have all faith so as to move mountains but do not have love, I am nothing." (Corinthians 13: 2)  
  
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"Hey Sara, how is my lovely lady today?" Nick asked as he stooped to kiss her gently on her lips.  
  
"Alright, I guess," she said doubtfully.  
  
Nick gave her his famous puzzled frown, usually reserved for crime scenes, sat down in one of the hard break room chairs beside her and continued, "What do you mean by the, ' I guess.'"  
  
"I don't know," Sara resonded, "My back feels stiff and sore between my shoulder blades, that's all."  
  
"Back injury from crouching at a crime scene too long?"  
  
"No, my lower back would have hurt."  
  
Nick opened his mouth to make another suggestion, when Warrick, who had just walked into the room beat him to the punch. "Maybe she's hinting that she wants a massage, Nicky. An nice, slow one," he said, moving his hands through the air like he actually was massaging Sara.  
  
"I can't believe that you're still mad at me for making my move before you did," Nick replied with a grin.  
  
"Nah," Warrick replied, "If I haven't gotten over it a year after you both came out of the closet, then I'm insane."  
  
"Good point," Nick decided after much contemplation, "You're not THAT insane. At least not to Greg's level."  
  
"Hey!" Warrick protested, moving to his friend to deliver a not-so-soft punch on his shoulder.  
  
"Children!" Sara called out. "Nicky, I want my massage, and Warrick, if Nick doesn't tear you apart, you can give me a massage too."  
  
"No that's okay. Nick may not hurt me now, but he's going to probably make me go into a sewer to gather evidence to get back at me."  
  
"Thank you for that idea, Warrick," Nick replied with an evil grin. He gently brushed Sara's hair to the side and began kneading the area between her shoulders. He happened to probe a very sore spot. Sara yelped in pain and moved away from Nick's hands.  
  
"See, man, I told you, you couldn't do it right," Warrick joked, "Let the master show you how it's done." Nick moved aside with a grand sweep of his arms. As he watched Warrick expertly give Sara the massage, he did have to admit that the other man was more skilled at this sort of thing.  
  
"Ahh!" Sara cried out again, "What is this? Torture Sara Day?"  
  
Before Warrick or Nick could respond, however, Catherine and their boss, Grissom came waltzing through the door. "And what would our CSI Trinity be doing today?" Grissom questioned pleasantly.  
  
Everyone, including Grissom himself had to have a good laugh at that statement. Greg had, a year earlier, dubbed Warrick, Nick and Sara the CSI Trinity after Nick and Sara began having a serious relationship and Warrick would always be hanging around, like the Holy Spirit (according to Grissom), trying to dissuade Sara from going out with Nick. Now, Warrick said that he had gotten his senses back, and he was sure that he was on something when he wouldn't leave them alone. Unfortunately for the three of them, the title of CSI Trinity would be held synonymous with their names.  
  
"Trying to give me a massage, but failing completely, because they keep pushing at a sore spot on my back," Sara answered with a huff and a glare to the other two in the "Trinity".  
  
"Really?" Catherine asked with concern. She always saw Sara as a younger sister that she had to take care of.  
  
"Yeah. Maybe it will go away with time."  
  
"Or maybe you should get it checked out," Catherine insisted, "I mean, you look a bit pale today Sara. Maybe you're coming down with something?"  
  
"I told you that you shouldn't max out on overtime," Grissom chastised. "Your immune system probably can't cope with the lack of sleep you give it."  
  
Sara opened her mouth to respond, but Catherine, interrupted her. "Yeah, Sara, with you roaming the halls of CSI at all hours of the day, I think you should be called the 'Holy Spirit', not Warrick."  
  
"Hey!" Warrick protested. He turned around to face Sara. "I agree with those two," he said, pointing to Catherine and Grissom, " and I think that Nicky here would love it if you went on vacation with him to some remote area." He added the last part with a wink. His response was to get hit in the arms by Nick and Sara at the same time.  
  
"Yeah, Sar," Nick said, "If Grissom will give us his blessing, I have something I wanted to tell you too. You know, get my two cents worth in."  
  
"Go ahead," Sara replied in resignation, "Everyone else has had a go at me and my habits."  
  
It took a while for everyone to register that Nick had gotten down on one knee in front of Sara and pulled out a tiny velvet covered box. "Will you marry me, Sara Sidle?"  
  
Sara was rendered speechless. She tried to say something, anything, but no sound would come out of her mouth, not even a squeak.  
  
"Just nod or shake your head," Nick suggested, his eyes becoming misty with emotion. It seemed like an eternity (which would be less than a couple of seconds to everybody else) as he waited for his answer. Sara nodded.  
  
Chaos ensued. Catherine was weeping for joy. Grissom was lecturing Sara, who was not listening, on the evils of marriage. Warrick was exclaiming over and over again, "I wish I made the first move!" And Nick and Sara just stood locked in a hug and kiss in the center of all the commotion.  
  
"Hey guys! What's up?" a bewildered Greg asked from the doorway.  
  
"They're engaged!" someone yelled.  
  
"What!?" Greg demanded. He was disappointed, now he was completely out of the running to get Sara's heart.  
  
"Sorry Greggo, looks like you're going to have to find another woman," Nick apologized.  
  
Feeling sorry for the crushed lab tech, Sara asked, "Would you like to see the ring?" in the hopes of making him feel better.  
  
Greg brightened considerably. "Sure."  
  
As she began walking the short distance to where he stood, Sara felt her head become incredibly light and her vision began to swim.  
  
She was lucky Greg managed to catch her and lay her gently on the floor.  
  
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Should I continue with this story?  
  
Please review!! 


	2. Chapter 2

Thanks for all the reviews! (and just a note, I can sleep through anything, so the off-key mariachi band wouldn't have woken me up!) (oh, and Sara Sidle Stokes, I'm soooo sorry about the no shippage thing, but , well, I'm just sorry)  
  
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"When is the ambulance coming?" Nick demanded testily.  
  
Grissom looked up from Sara's side on the floor, and as calmly and gently as possible answered, "Greg just went to call 9-1-1 about two minutes ago, Nick, they should be here in less than ten minutes. You know how they are if it isn't life threatening."  
  
"But what if it is?" Catherine gasped, "What if she had an aneurysm?"  
  
Warrick and Grissom just gave her sharp looks, indicating that what she had just said was not beneficial. "Let's hope not," Warrick answered curtly.  
  
Minutes passed when suddenly Greg burst into the room. "They're here!" he yelled, before turning around and hightailing it back to the entrance to urge the paramedics to walk faster.  
  
"She was walking towards me and she just sort of got this blank look in her eyes and then she collapsed," Greg explained to the first paramedic who was walking beside him.  
  
"Hm," the other man said. When he saw all of the CSI team crowded around her, he asked in a loud voice, "Can you all take a step back, give this woman some room, so I can check her out?"  
  
"Sara, honey," Nick whispered, "I'll be right over there." He pointed needlessly to the side where Grissom and Catherine were standing. Just as he made it there, Sara groaned and tried to sit up.  
  
"What happened?" she asked as she attempted to get up, but almost instantaneously fell back down.  
  
"That's what we're trying to figure out ma'am," the paramedic said, as he gently caught her head before it hit the hard floor. "How do you feel?"  
  
"Like I was knocked out."  
  
"I see." He wrote what she had said on a little pad of paper. "So, does your head hurt?"  
  
"No, just like I'm disoriented and nauseous," Sara replied tiredly. "Sort of like a person who's seasick."  
  
"Okay," the paramedic, Bill, replied, jotting down that as well.  
  
"I guess I should have finished my lunch," Sara joked weakly.  
  
"Yeah, I guess you should have," Bill laughed, "but I want to take you to the hospital and get some blood work done on you. Sound okay?"  
  
"Sure, if these guys can survive working without my charming personality."  
  
"I think I can survive without seeing you for one shift, Sara," Greg joked, "but I don't know if you can survive without me."  
  
"Put a lid on it, Sanders," Sara warned, "Or else my fiancé will kick you."  
  
Greg made a face. "Ouch!" he mouthed.  
  
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Sara was bored out of her mind. 'Three hours and they finally get around to me,' she thought sarcastically, 'and now I have to wait a few more hours to find out that my blood sugar is fine. A little low, but in the normal range.'  
  
She was falling asleep from the boredom when a familiar voice, one that she could recognize anywhere, called her name. "Sara!" Warrick called. Sara groaned, as much as Warrick was like her little brother and big brother rolled into one, sometimes she just couldn't stand it when he was in the same room as her and Nick.  
  
"What are you doing here?" she demanded with a smile.  
  
"Completing the Trinity, remember? Nick's out parking the Tahoe," Warrick replied good-naturedly. "Don't worry, I'm just here for the picture."  
  
"Picture?"  
  
"My lame attempt at a joke. How have you been?"  
  
"Bored. They just took by blood samples a few minutes ago."  
  
"That's what I figured. Managed to get Nick and me a few hours off to visit you, keep you company, you know, keep you sane," Warrick said.  
  
"You're not trying to steal her away from me now, are you Warrick?" Nick's voice drifted over.  
  
"No," Warrick answered, like a child trying to cover up something, and failing miserably, "That's Greg's job. Mine's just to hide her from you."  
  
"Good luck, man," Nick replied, "I'm not letting Sara out of my sights anymore."  
  
"Oh, come on," Warrick protested, "Share the love, Nick."  
  
"I'd rather not, if you don't mind."  
  
"Oh, I do mind."  
  
Their banter sounded so familiar to the arguments they had a year before that Sara just had to laugh at the memory. "So when is the arm wrestling match going to commence?" she asked with a smile.  
  
"The what?" both nick and Warrick asked in confusion.  
  
"Don't tell me you don't remember it! Nick, you tore the muscles in your right bicep and Warrick, you ended up bruising your knuckles so badly, you couldn't hold anything for a week? I can't believe you guys don't remember it!"  
  
"Oh, right. . ." Warrick replied with a faraway look in his eyes.  
  
"Yeah," Nick answered as well, "I was in so much pain the next day."  
  
Finally noticing that both men were standing on either side of her, Sara extended the invitation for them to sit down. They both did, with Nick on Sara's right and Warrick on her left, making their triangle.  
  
"Well isn't this sweet?" a nurse said as she brushed the curtains aside. "I see you have quite a few handsome admirers, young lady."  
  
"Actually, I only have one," Sara responded pointing to Warrick, "this is my fiancé," she said pointing to Nick.  
  
"Well, aren't you a lucky young man," the nurse replied, with tears in her eyes. "Oh look at me," she joked, "I'm such an emotional little woman!"  
  
"Was there a purpose for your coming in here?" Sara asked pointedly, but kindly.  
  
"Oh! Yes, yes of course!" the nurse exclaimed, suddenly remembering what she was doing in there, "Your blood work came back, and everything is normal, except for your blood sugar, which was a little low, but it was close enough to normal."  
  
"Thank you," Sara said gratefully. "Can I leave now?" she asked politely. 'I knew it!' she thought.  
  
"Of course. Let me just get the release forms." And with that, the little nurse was gone.  
  
"That's good," Warrick said. "I guess you can go back to work now and scare the living daylights out of Greg."  
  
"Or," Nick interjected, "You could just go home with me, and I can make you something to eat, or anything else you might want to do." He added the last part with a wink.  
  
"Hey, man!" Warrick pleaded, "try to keep it clean for the rest of us here without a relationship!"  
  
"Your fault man," Nick replied, "If you hadn't been chasing after Sara, you would have noticed everybody else."  
  
"Ouch, that was harsh," Warrick teased, as he clutched his chest dramatically. "I do have one request, Nicky," he said as he batted his eyelashes mockingly at his friend, "I have to be the best man at your wedding."  
  
Nick just looked at Sara, who nodded. "Fine." Nick drew out the word slowly, waiting for a reaction. He got one.  
  
"Sweet! Thank you lord! Halleluia!" Warrick cried with a giddy expression on his face. Nick and Sara couldn't contain their laughter.  
  
"Okay," the nurse stated as she came back, "Just sign here, here, here, and here, and you're free to go." Sara wasted no time, and was soon dressed in her regular clothes and sitting in the Tahoe beside Nick in the front. They chatted easily with Warrick, who was sitting in the back seat, until they reached Warrick's place.  
  
As he got out, Warrick turned around, and gave Sara and Nick a meaningful glance and said, "Don't do anything I wouldn't do, you two." And quickly shut the door so as not to hear the protests coming from within.  
  
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Just a fluffy little chapter to bridge the gap between chapter one and chapter three (hopefully)  
  
(And YES, this is an N/S story and will stay an N/S story. Warrick's not going to steal Sara, so don't worry about him always being there.)  
  
Please review!! 


	3. Chapter 3

Thanks for all the reviews! (I think there is something wrong with the way this is uploading, since I tried doing I a few times before, and the quotation marks are doing this really weird thing. . . if it gets better, I'll replace this chapter or something.)  
  
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"What do you have against Lilies of the Valleys?" Sara asked Nick with the most bewildered tone she could manage.  
  
"They remind me of funerals. Look, my oldest sister was getting married, and a couple minutes after the ceremony ended, my grandmother just up and died. We ended up using the flowers from the wedding for the funeral. They were Lilies of the Valley, and I can't get the connection between the flowers and funerals out of my head."  
  
"Oh," Sara replied with a sudden rush of understanding, "Okay, so Lilies of the Valley are out. How about roses?" After pausing for a while, she added, "But you have to be the one to explain to my parents about our flower choices. They had their hearts set on lilies."  
  
"We could always use Easter Lilies," Nick suggested, trying to find a compromise, "And I think roses are a great idea."  
  
"Great," Sara replied, jotting down their agreement on a piece of paper. She was going to move onto the next topic when the doorbell of Nick's apartment rang.  
  
"I'll get that," Nick said as he stood up and made the short walk to the door, which was in plain view of the kitchen where they had been sitting. "Warrick, Grissom, Greg! What are you guys doing here?"  
  
"We decided to give you a wedding shower," Grissom replied, "Or should I say Catherine decided to and threatened to hurt us if we didn't agree with her."  
  
"Yeah, man," Greg piped up, "Cath can be very persuasive." He added a wink, making everyone look ready to slap him.  
  
"Try to keep it clean, Greggo," Catherine replied, as she walked up to the door, "and you might just live to see Nick and Sara's wedding."  
  
Warrick, who had been amazingly silent up until that point, asked, "Nick, you weren't joking about me being your best man, right?"  
  
"No. I was serious."  
  
"Good, because I have my speech written out. And you have to congratulate me, I managed to make it five minutes long."  
  
Nick opened his mouth to answer, but Greg, looking hurt and bewildered at the same time, asked, "How come you asked Warrick to be your best man? What about the lab tech that you all love?" At any other time, Nick would have laughed at his pathetic tone and puppy dog eyes.  
  
"Don't take it the wrong way, Greg," Sara piped up from the kitchen, "Warrick just begged us and we gave in. I think we were just trying to shut him up."  
  
"Hey!" Warrick exclaimed.  
  
Grissom looked around, as if he was trying to acquaint himself with his surroundings before asking Nick if they would be allowed in.  
  
Nick, suddenly remembering that all his friends were outside standing on his doormat, quickly ushered them in. "Sorry, guys, but I don't have anything in the house. If we had known you were all coming, we would have gone shopping."  
  
"Just as I thought," Catherine proclaimed, "Don't worry, Nicky, I took the liberty of ordering Chinese for all of us. And before you worry, Sara, I got some vegetable dishes for you."  
  
Sara looked grateful. "Thank you. Sit down," she said, gesturing to the paper littered table. "I'll just move this stuff to Nick's living room or something."  
  
"So how's the planning coming along?" Warrick asked as he gingerly sat down in one of Nick's chairs, praying that he wasn't sitting on the faulty one.  
  
"Good," Sara replied, somewhat sarcastically as she transferred the papers and pamphlets. "We've managed to set up a budget and pick out the flowers and who's going to be in the entourage. Now all we have to do is get our parents to agree on a location."  
  
"Agree on a location?" Catherine echoed.  
  
"Right!" Grissom exclaimed quietly. At Catherine's incredulous look, he continued, "Sara's parents still live in Tamales Bay, if I remember correctly, and Nick's parents live in Dallas."  
  
"Yeah, and both of them want the wedding in their respective towns," Nick complained. "And to make it worse, we have to have a wedding that's close enough for all of you to get there."  
  
"We were actually seriously thinking about finding a place that is equidistant from Tamales Bay, Vegas, and Dallas, and getting married there, even if it's in the middle of a desert," Sara added.  
  
By that time, everyone, except Greg had found a seat and sat down. "Nick, is this the chair that's screwed up?" he asked, gesturing to the seat left over.  
  
"Shouldn't be," Sara replied for Nick, "I'm pretty sure I'm sitting on it."  
  
"You sure?" Greg asked as he very slowly and very gently lowered himself into the seat.  
  
"Yeah. This one has the-" Sara never finished her sentence, because Greg's chair literally exploded from underneath him.  
  
Everyone was so busy laughing, they didn't notice Sara sway slightly and slide towards the floor.  
  
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She thought that she was on a boat in a turbulent ocean. "Wha-?" she moaned, as she tried to sit up only to have someone push her down again gently.  
  
"Second in three weeks!" came Bill's familiar voice. "And your fiancé said that you ate all of your lunch this time. Guess it's the premarital stress, huh?"  
  
"Yeah," Sara agreed weakly, "and yes, I feel the same way I did three weeks ago, except my back is hurting even more."  
  
"Where?" Suddenly, Bill's jovial tone was replaced by a concerned one.  
  
"Between my shoulder blades. Maybe I hit it falling?" Sara replied, voicing her suggestion.  
  
"Maybe," Bill replied, not sounding too convinced, "I'll get the doctor to check it out. Sound good?"  
  
"Okay, that sounds fine," Sara replied, "I just hope that I don't have to wait too long this time."  
  
"Let's hope not."  
  
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Luckily for her, Sara didn't have to wait more than a couple of minutes, because her condition was considered more serious than last time, since it was her second fainting spell in only a few weeks.  
  
"Hi . . . Sara," a female doctor said by way of greeting as she checked the charts, "I'm Dr. Steinbaum, and I hear that you fainted for the second time in three weeks, and that you're complaining of a sore back between your shoulder blades. Correct?"  
  
"Correct."  
  
"Okay, so I'm assuming that a nurse has taken some blood samples?"  
  
"Yeah, just a minute ago, actually."  
  
"Okay, so that's good," the doctor replied crisply, but not unkindly, "That's fine, then. What do you say we do the physical, and try to determine what's causing your backaches. Sound good?"  
  
"Sounds fine to me," Sara replied.  
  
"Alright," Dr. Steinbaum continued, "Do you have any personal history of fainting spells, epilepsy or seizures in general?"  
  
"No."  
  
"Family history?"  
  
"No."  
  
"Any history of bone disorders, specifically in the spine, or spina bifida in your family?"  
  
"No."  
  
"Could it be that one of your vertebra was just protruding more prominently than the others for some reason?"  
  
"I don't think so," Sara replied, becoming worried, mainly because her problem wasn't being answered. "What do you think it is?" she asked worriedly.  
  
"Nothing, hopefully," Dr. Steinbaum grinned. "That's what I always hope for."  
  
"Doctor, I don't think that this is all in my head," Sara protested. "My cognitive functions are just fine, and I don't have a family history of mental illness."  
  
"I never said it was in your head. I'm just hoping that you don't have a debilitating illness or anything. That's what I hope for all my patients. You getting married?" At the last moment, she turned the conversation onto lighter topics.  
  
"Yeah," Sara replied, "We were friends forever, and then a year ago we began seeing each other seriously, and the last time I fainted, he had just proposed."  
  
"Aw, that's sweet!" the doctor cried, "I wish I could find myself someone to who would be used to my odd hours and everything."  
  
Sara, suddenly remembering Warrick, replied, "I might just be able to set you up with someone I know, another one of my friends. Do you have a pen?" When the requested item was given to her, along with a sheet of paper, Sara wrote down the familiar name, number and address.  
  
"Thank you so much!" Dr. Steinbaum exclaimed. "Okay," she continued, "Onto your physical."  
  
Sara and Dr. Deborah Steinbaum kept the chatter light as they went through the exam, until the doctor noticed a lump in Sara's back, right between the shoulder blades, where Sara had complained of pain before.  
  
"Sara, does this hurt?" she asked as she gently probed the mass.  
  
Sara flinched and nodded. "God, yes," she answered through clenched teeth.  
  
"Sorry. Contrary to popular belief, most doctors go one better on the Hippocratic Oath and try not to inflict pain on their patients. Do you have family or friends, maybe your fiancé I could contact?" She asked the last part abruptly.  
  
"Yeah, um, my fiancé's number is 575-9182."  
  
"Okay, I'll get the desk to contact him and I'm going to get you sent up to the fifth floor to get a CT scan and X-rays."  
  
"Why?"  
  
"Just to rule out a couple of things," Deborah answered, "I'm guessing that it's calcium deposits or fluid that's surrounding your vertebrae to cushion it from something. I doubt it will be that horrific or anything."  
  
"Okay, whatever you say, and I hope you go out with my friend. He's a great guy, and he'll stick around until the end of time."  
  
"Got it. Thanks again. I hope that nothing shows up."  
  
"Yeah, thanks, me too."  
  
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Nick wandered off the elevator on the fifth floor in search of Sara. He spotted her talking with a doctor, or maybe a nurse. 'Are those tears?' he asked himself as he got closer.  
  
"Sara?" he called out with concern.  
  
She turned around, and indeed her cheeks had tear tracks on them. "Yeah, Nick?"  
  
"You alright?"  
  
Sara just shrugged. In an effort to be of some help, the doctor beside her, Dr. Wong, spoke up, "We found a mass attached to Sara's vertebrae, and we're worried about what it is."  
  
"Do you know what it is?" Nick demanded, turning pale.  
  
"Why don't we sit down first," the doctor suggested, motioning to a couple of chairs to his right. Nick and Sara sat down, though Dr. Wong remained standing. "As I was saying, we found a something on Sara's back, but it could just be a harmless cyst, or bone cancer. We can't say anything for sure until we do a biopsy, and hopefully, it's nothing serious."  
  
"So when are you going to do the biopsy?" Nick asked apprehensively.  
  
"Tomorrow morning at eleven. It should be relatively simple. Thirty minutes at most. I won't say anymore until we know what we're dealing with."  
  
"Okay," Nick agreed, "We'll see you tomorrow then." Sara nodded to indicate that she knew what was going on.  
  
"Okay," Dr. Wong echoed, "see you tomorrow."  
  
Sara could barely concentrate on her work. Nick had wanted her to go home and try to relax for the next day, but Sara adamantly refused to do so, attempting to hide herself in work and forget about the nightmare that she was calling life.  
  
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Eleven o'clock came rolling around so quickly. The thirty minutes, however, seemed to take an eternity for each second to go by. Nick paced the waiting room impatiently, willing the clock to move faster.  
  
Presently, Sara was wheeled to a room, slightly groggy from the anesthetics, but otherwise in good spirits. "Now I know how Doc Robbins' bodies feel like when he's performing autopsies on them," she joked. Nick managed a tight smile in return.  
  
They kept the chatter purposely light, and Sara mentioned that she had set Warrick up with the ER doctor. Nick had a good laugh at what she said. They didn't realize that hours had past until a nurse walked in and asked Sara if she was hungry, and if she had any dietary specifics. By five o'clock that evening, Nick was preparing to leave, and Sara was trying everything under the sun to convince the nurse that she could leave. Dr. Wong walked glumly into the room.  
  
"Eh, what's up doc?" Nick smirked as he did his best impression of Bugs Bunny.  
  
"The sky," he replied without any humor in his voice. "I have some news for you two."  
  
"What is it?" Sara asked nervously.  
  
"The lab's just confirmed our worst theory. The lump is malignant."  
  
"What does that mean?" Nick demanded, suddenly at a loss for intelligence.  
  
"That we're dealing with cancer."  
  
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Yes, SAR, you were right (so you got the hint in my dedication)  
  
And I'll take this time at the risk of sounding like a broken record and beg you all to ask (or demand of) you mothers or girlfriends or sisters, or etc. to get their mammograms (even if they hurt) and any other cancer screenings known to man, because they do work and I know a lot of people who died from cancer because it was caught too late. Okay, I'll stop now, and try not to get all of you too depressed . . . Sorry about all the angst I'm exposing you to. . .  
  
Please review! 


	4. Chapter 4

Thanks for all the reviews! (And I'm not sure if this is going to be a happy ending or not, I think it's still too far away to tell. {In truth, I don't have a clue what's going to happen in this chapter either, I'm just making it up as I go along . . .})  
  
And Maura Tierney, if I made Sara pregnant like they do in all the other stories, then what would the point of trying to write an original story be? (Sorry everyone who writes those stories, don't take it the wrong way. I LOVE those types of stories). Also, it's not my fault that ff.net has a few problems with the quotation marks (") and apostrophes (') when we upload things, just look at all the stories that have been uploaded since July 20. Unless you don't mind waiting for ff.net to fix itself up and not know what's happening to Sara.  
  
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Sara and Nick walked into the lab silently. As they turned a corner, a very satisfied, very happy Warrick accosted them. "Sara, I love you!" he cried enveloping her in a bear hug, "Deb Steinbaum and I are going on a date tomorrow!" Suddenly realizing that neither of his friends was either grinning or poking fun at him, Warrick asked apprehensively, "What's wrong?"  
  
Sara opened her mouth, but when she tried to speak, she ended up breaking down in tears. As she buried her head in Nick's shoulder, Nick explained what had transpired in the course of 48 hours. "The reason Sara kept fainting was because she had this tumor on her spine, it's growing out of it I think, and so the doctors did a biopsy, and it came back positive for cancer."  
  
Warrick, who had been subdued by Sara's outburst, became crest fallen at the word "cancer".  
  
"Oh my god," Warrick said quietly, "Is there anything I can do to help? Just say the word and I'm there."  
  
"Keep it to yourself until we tell the rest of them," Nick replied, thankful that his best friend was being so supportive.  
  
"And don't treat me like an invalid. I want you to act normal around me. Okay?" Sara added.  
  
"Got it on both counts," Warrick promised. "When are you going to tell them?"  
  
"Now, when they're all in the break room. Maybe after Grissom hands out assignments."  
  
"Okay. And just remember, I'm behind you two all the way."  
  
"Thanks Warrick," Sara replied, slightly calmer than she was a few seconds before.  
  
They walked silently to the door of the break room like a funeral procession, but no one made that comment.  
  
Catherine looked up at the slight sound of feet hitting the floor. Almost instantaneously, she knew something was off. "Is everything alright?" she asked, addressing all three of her friends.  
  
Their answer was cut off by Greg, who shuffled in after pulling a double because he had taken a day time lab tech's shift. "So how's our Trinity today?" he asked tiredly, not really expecting a reply.  
  
Yet again their answer was cut off, this time by Grissom. "Why all the long faces?" he asked incredulously. When no one spoke, he continued, "Never mind. I have the assignments for tonight. It all looks like it's pretty straight forward, you should be able to solve them in no time."  
  
"Grissom," Catherine began quietly, the bad feeling in her stomach gnawing at her.  
  
Grissom did not appear to have heard his co-worker, and merely kept going on with what he was saying. "Okay, so we have a break and enter in a local 7-11, an 'accidental' shooting that needs looking into, and an attempted rape case. Warrick, Catherine, take the B&E. Nick you're with me on the shooting. And Sara, you're on the rape case by yourself, since you know how to deal with these types of cases better than the rest of us."  
  
"Um, Grissom," Warrick began as he cleared his throat, "Can Sara go with me and Cath can take the attempted rape? Or can she go with Nick?"  
  
"Sara can't go with Nick, I don't know how to relate to people, remember, Warrick, so I can't take the rape. If it's alright with Catherine, I guess she can switch with Sara. Why?"  
  
Warrick looked over at his two friends, as if to say, "It's your call."  
  
"I don't know how to say this, so I'll just cut the formality, and just tell you straight," Nick began. He looked over at Sara.  
  
"I have bone cancer," she explained simply, as though she had resigned herself to the fact.  
  
Chaos, however quiet, ensued. Grissom attempted to move or say something, only to be struck immobile and dumb at such an inopportune time. Catherine was beside herself, not even attempting to cover up the tears that were cascading down her cheeks. Greg began pacing, every so often bumping into Warrick who had also begun to pace.  
  
"Someone, say something," Sara pleaded.  
  
"How long have you known?" Warrick choked out.  
  
"Since five p.m. today," Nick replied.  
  
***************************************  
  
"Hi, you must be Sara?" The middle aged oncologist asked as his greeting.  
  
"Hi, yes. Dr. O'Connor?"  
  
"Uh huh. So I heard about you tumor. You think you're up to discussing it and your treatment options?" They were the only two people sitting in the spacious, masculine office full of rich browns of various shades and leather.  
  
Sara sat still for a moment in contemplation. "Yeah, I think I can do that."  
  
"Good. But if you want me to slow down or stop or explain anything over, you tell me, okay?" When Sara nodded, he continued. "As you know, you have bone cancer that's attached itself, for lack of a better word, to your vertebrae. We want to cut it out before it spreads to your vital organs, namely your lungs. Since the tumor is closer to your lungs, we want to operate as soon as possible to prevent such a thing from occurring. You probably guessed that we can't take all of the tumor out without risking cutting your spinal cord, leaving you paralyzed from the chest down, so we plan to supplement the operation with chemotherapy and radiation treatments, and hopefully that will eradicate the rest of the tumor. It's going to be rough going from here on out, I thought I might warn you. Am I going too fast?"  
  
"No. Dr. Wong said the same thing, more or less," Sara replied.  
  
"Ah yes," Dr. O'Connor said with a smile, "He's a wonderful emergency surgeon, but I think that it's his secret dream to have my job."  
  
Sara had to smile as well. "I do have one question," she began, "When are you planning to operate?"  
  
"As soon as humanly possible. Oh, and your insurance should cover this operation, so you don't have to worry too much in that regard."  
  
"I'm already worried," Sara said wryly, "A little more worry won't matter."  
  
"That's the spirit!" the doctor praised, "Keep thinking positive, Sara, and it can do wonders." He paused for a moment, and added with a more serious tone, "Do you think you can get medical leave by next week on Wednesday so that you could come in for surgery? You're going to need a month at least afterwards to deal with all the chemo and radiation."  
  
"A MONTH?" Sara asked in shock, "At this rate, the cancer's not going to kill me, it's going to be the boredom!"  
  
"Trust me, Sara," Dr. O'Connor said sadly, "You're not going to be bored."  
  
******************************************  
  
Sara lay stomach down on the gurney waiting to be wheeled into the operating room. Sitting beside her on either side on chairs were Warrick and Nick.  
  
"Hey, Sara," Warrick said slowly, as though he was trying to find a way to phrase his statement, "You gotta be fine after your operation, or else this is going to be a two sided Trinity."  
  
"Yeah, Sar, I don't know if I can live without you," Nick spoke up right after Warrick finished speaking.  
  
"Speaking, of melodrama," Sara cut in, in the attempt to lighten the atmosphere, "How did your date with Deborah go, Warrick?"  
  
Warrick brightened up at his "favorite topic" according to Nick. "It's great," he replied with his trademark grin, "I am forever in your debt, Sara, for finding me my woman!"  
  
"And here is reason number two why you have to be fine after your operation," Nick continued, "This man," he pointed to Warrick, "will drive me insane if you're not there to shut him up!"  
  
"I can't promise you much," Sara said to Nick, "but if I die, you know that I will haunt Warrick's life for as long as he lives." At Nick's frown and Warrick's sigh, Sara knew that she had used the wrong combination of words. "Not that I'm planning to die," she added, finishing off her statement.  
  
"Sara?" a nurse who seemed to appear out of thin air in the door way asked as she walked in, "Are you ready to be moved now?"  
  
"Yeah, just give us a minute alone, will you?"  
  
"Sure, just give me a shout when you're ready."  
  
"Thanks so much."  
  
"No problem." And with that, the nurse walked out of the room again and closed the door on her way out.  
  
"Okay, guys, looks like this is the deciding match," Sara said with a lopsided grin. "Try not to get into any fights over me while I'm not here to referee, got it?"  
  
"Yes ma'am!" Warrick called out. Nick just nodded, looking at his fiancée in the eye as he did so.  
  
"Good. I expect you to keep your words," Sara continued, "And now, you may kiss me if you want, Nick, and you too Warrick, if Nick doesn't beat you up."  
  
"I don't think I will ever learn to deny you anything, Sara," Nick replied, getting slightly teary.  
  
"Oh, and rule one about this whole thing, no crying unless you're happy. I swear, Catherine was crying for three days straight after she found out," Sara commanded. "Are you two going to kiss me good luck, or are you just going to gawk at me all day?"  
  
"I prefer to gawk, thank you," Nick replied, trying to be as humorous as possible. "Warrick," he addressed the other man, "You go ahead, I want to have the last word."  
  
"Thank you!" Warrick said with the sauciest grin he could manage. He gave Sara a slight peck on the cheek. "Okay, I'm holding you to your word that you're going to be fine," he told her. Sara nodded.  
  
"Okay, man, time to leave," Nick ordered. As soon as Warrick left the room, he knelt beside the gurney. "I want you to know, that I love you," he told her, "And I want you to know that I will always be by your side through everything that's going to happen. I won't let you face this alone, okay?"  
  
"Okay," Sara echoed, her voice slightly thick from the emotion.  
  
"Hey!" Nick complained, "You said rule one was no crying unless you're happy!"  
  
"I'm not breaking rule one," Sara retorted, "I am happy, you know how to do that to me, you big sentimentalist!"  
  
"Guilty as charged," Nick replied with a grin. "Can I kiss you now?"  
  
"Be my guest!" Sara cried. The aforementioned kiss was delivered with such sincerity and love, that she thought that it alone would be enough to make her better.  
  
When he finally broke off the kiss, Nick said, "I guess I've got to call the nurse back, huh?" When Sara nodded, he continued, "I'm holding you to your word too. So if you try pulling any stunts, Warrick and I will personally see to it that you don't go back to work until you promise to take it easy and let yourself heal."  
  
Sara grinned back, "I know you two will. Now go call the nurse so that we can get this over with."  
  
"Ma'am, yes ma'am!" Nick answered with a mock salute.  
  
Warrick and Nick waved to Sara's retreating form as the door to the operating room closed in, shutting them out.  
  
****************************************  
  
Sorry for all the angst, but if it's any consolation, look at the bright side, Nick and Sara are so in love, that it could move mountains! (Okay, maybe I'm exaggerating a bit . . . )  
  
PLEASE REVIEW! 


	5. Chapter 5

The operation was supposed to take about an hour and a half, but due to some complications with the equipment, and the tumor slightly more difficult to remove than anticipated, the expected finishing time doubled. After hour one, Nick began pacing the waiting room, and only stopped when an elderly woman threatened to call the psychiatric ward if he didn't stop. By hour two, Nick was fidgeting in his seat like an impatient five-year- old and Warrick had resorted to pacing. Luckily for them, the old woman had left a few minutes earlier. The third hour rolled around and Nick and Warrick were in danger of going out of their minds from the worry, when Greg stopped by, and began entertaining them with his sometimes odd jokes and little known facts.  
  
"So, these two guys are sitting in a bar, drinking beer, and one of them says, 'The government is blaming bad intelligence on the recent war.'" Greg started, "And the other one goes, can you guess? 'Then maybe they should stop calling it intelligence.' Funny huh?" Nick and Warrick gave him weary smiles for his efforts.  
  
"Okay," Greg drawled, "How about this one? Did you know that Hitler had a square mustache because he admired Charlie Chaplan? He wanted to imitate him or something."  
  
"Really?" Nick asked without interest.  
  
"What else haven't you told us yet man?" Warrick also asked, with slightly more interest than Nick.  
  
"Well, when you put it that way," Greg replied, "I do have a few more facts up my sleeve." He gave them a 'Greggo Grin' and continued, "Would you like to know what they are?"  
  
"Sure, man, just keep it clean, I think the evil old woman is back," Warrick muttered referring to the one who had threatened Nick with the psychiatric ward, "She might get you sent to jail for saying something in the sexual context."  
  
"Don't worry," Greg assured them, "I always keep it clean." Warrick just rolled his eyes, and Nick pretended to not have heard. "Okay, anyway, on to what I was saying. Did you know that the adult human head weighs the same as a light bowling ball, which is about 12 pounds?"  
  
"Yeah, man."  
  
"Yeah, Greg, this is one of the first things I learned in bio class and then I put two and two together."  
  
"Oh," Greg replied, slightly crestfallen, but then he brightened, "Well, I have something that you may not know! Did you know that the first American TV show seen in the People's Republic of China was 'Baywatch'?"  
  
"Okay, Greg," Nick replied, after staring at the lab tech like he was a fly for some time, "When people say I watch too much TV, they've obviously never seen your viewing habits."  
  
"I'll take that as a compliment," Greg returned with a devilish grin. He opened his mouth to tell them another fact, but was beaten to the punch.  
  
"Friends of Sara Sidle?" the nurse who had brought her into the operating room asked.  
  
"Yeah," Nick replied.  
  
"She's still under anesthesia, but we expect her to wake up in the next couple of hours. The surgery went well, and they were able to remove a larger amount of the tumor than they had hoped to get, so she may not have to undergo such a rigorous regiment of chemo."  
  
"Can we see her?" Nick demanded.  
  
"Sure, but don't be too surprised if she doesn't wake up until tomorrow."  
  
"Got it."  
  
"Her room's just down the hall." The nurse pointed down a long corridor to their left. "And it's 671, okay? Any other questions?"  
  
"No. Thank you!" Warrick called as he followed Nick who had started down the hallway as soon as he heard the room number.  
  
*****************************************  
  
Sara awoke to the sound of humming. "Who is that?" she asked groggily, willing her eyes to open more than the cracks that they already were.  
  
"Sara?" Warrick asked, "Great! You're awake, but Nick is going to be ticked off that you woke up when he wasn't here. Could you pretend to be asleep again and wake up when he's here? It's his turn to get coffee."  
  
"How many cups have you guys drank so far?"  
  
"About five for Nick and four for me. Greg had the other one, but he didn't like it, said it tasted like mud in comparison to his."  
  
"Greg's here?" Sara queried, wondering why the room was suspiciously quiet.  
  
"He left a few minutes ago," Warrick answered with a smile. "Yeah, it is too quiet in here if Greg was supposed to be sitting beside me. He began hitting on the nurse, you know."  
  
"Really? Why doesn't that surprise me?"  
  
"I wouldn't know." Warrick suddenly became silent and whispered, "Nick's coming, pretend to be asleep and maybe I'll still have my head later on." Sara did what she was asked to do, much to her amusement.  
  
"Warrick," Nick began as he walked into the room, "They didn't have any more donuts in the cafeteria, so I hope you like blueberry muffins. The woman working there nearly threatened me with some stale toast that's as hard as a rock, because I was, and I quote, 'Making such a racket over such a small thing. Why, in Croatia where I grew up, we would have been happy for that muffin!' Or at least, that's what I think she said."  
  
Sara couldn't contain her laughter anymore after Nick's awful impression of a Croatian accent, and let out a guffaw.  
  
"Sleeping Beauty awaketh!" Nick cried, quite loudly too, only to be shushed by a passing doctor.  
  
"Yeah, I'm awake," Sara replied, not making mention of the fact that she had been for some time now.  
  
"Good to know," Warrick replied, as though he didn't know about her being awake beforehand, "It's kind of hard to do the CSI Trinity with only two people. It would have become the Dinity, or something without you."  
  
"I know, it's great to be back," Sara replied, looking at each of them in the eye and smiling.  
  
*************************************  
  
Nearly two weeks and four rounds of chemotherapy and radiation later, she didn't think it was that great to be back. In fact, she absolutely hated the way life was going for her at that moment. Sara, who was thin to begin with, became even thinner to the point where she looked like a skeleton with skin stretched over her bones. The powerful chemo drugs made her weak, lose her appetite, and caused all her hair to fall out. The radiation made her extremely tired. To some, it was ludicrous that she insisted that she show up for work every night, even if it was just to push papers around. Nick knew the real reason of course: it was Sara's way of keeping herself sane through the whole ordeal she had to endure.  
  
"Hey, honey, how's the most gorgeous woman in Vegas doing?" Nick asked gently as he gave Sara a kiss on the cheek.  
  
"Gorgeous?" Sara asked with an incredulous tone, "Nick, I don't have any hair, not one strand, and I look like the poster child for anorexics." To prove her point, she shifted the bandana she wore on her head.  
  
"That doesn't matter," Nick protested, "Outward appearances don't matter, it's what's on the inside that counts."  
  
"Yeah, and that's drugs that are so potent, they run the risk of killing me instead of the cancer, and I could probably light up in the dark from all the exposure I've had to radiation."  
  
"Sara . . ." Nick chided gently. Ever since she first felt the affects of her treatment, Sara had gone from being the optimistic one who kept him sane and put everything in good context, to being extremely pessimistic.  
  
"No, Nick!" she cried, "I don't want to hear what you're going to say. That this is only a short-term thing, and that it will soon be behind us like a distant memory. I don't want you to say that you'll love me no matter what, because you know, and I know that that's not true!"  
  
"Sara . . ."  
  
"And did you know that the recurrence rate for cancer is nearly fifty percent?" she cried out hysterically, "Did you?"  
  
"No. Sara . . ."  
  
"No, Nick, leave me alone!" and with that, Sara pushed at his shoulder, as though to knock him over, but it did nothing more than make him swivel at the waist. She ran weakly out the door in tears.  
  
Catherine and Warrick peaked into the room through the door. "Rough going for her, huh?" Catherine guessed.  
  
"Yeah, she's got it in her head that I won't be able to handle this and that I'll just leave her in the middle of nowhere to go at it alone."  
  
"We know you won't," Warrick replied to his best friend, "But this is traumatic, and Sara's got to live with it, and let's just say she's become more melodramatic. Just keep reassuring her; that's all you can do for her. That, and keep loving her, like you won't let go, man."  
  
"Thanks Warrick," Nick said. "I guess I'll have to find her first before I can reassure her, huh?"  
  
"Yeah," Catherine piped up, "She was heading in the direction of the locker room, judging from what I saw."  
  
"Thanks." Nick began walking quickly towards the locker room. "Sara," he called out quietly. She didn't reply, but he did hear the sounds of muffled sobs. Quickly locating her by sound, he dropped down beside her on the floor in the corner of the darkened room and attempted to wrap his arms around her. "Sara, honey . . ." He didn't get any more said, because she wrenched herself out of his arms and scooted farther into a corner huddling herself up into an even smaller ball. "Sara . . ." Nick began in frustration, drawing out her name.  
  
"I don't want to hear it," she replied. "Just leave me alone, Nick, that's all I'm asking you to do."  
  
"What if I don't want to leave you alone?"  
  
"Then I'll just ignore you."  
  
The childishness of her statement would have been enough to make him smile at any other occasion, but he knew that she could easily slip into depression if he didn't talk some sense into her at that moment. 'Desperate times call for desperate measures,' he thought. "Okay, so you want me to leave you alone. I can do that, but I'm going to get Warrick or Catherine, maybe Greg or Grissom to come in here, okay?" He wanted to follow her wishes, but at the same time he didn't want her to be alone. "Do you want me to call anyone in particular if you won't talk to me?"  
  
"Warrick, I guess," Sara muttered, seeing that Nick would not leave until she compromised with him.  
  
"Okay, I'll get Warrick to come in here," Nick replied unselfishly.  
  
A few seconds later Warrick showed up beside Sara. "Hey," he began as he eased his tall frame down beside her, "I hear you're giving Nick the silent treatment." He didn't get a response; instead, she took off her engagement ring and placed it firmly into his hand. "Okay . . ." he trailed off, knowing that he wasn't getting anywhere with her. "Sara, do you know Corinthians 13?" At her affirmative, though reluctant nod, he continued, "Good, I have a passage from it that my grandmother made me memorize when I was a kid. You going to listen to this?"  
  
"Yeah," Sara replied, intrigued despite her foul mood.  
  
"Okay, so it goes: 'Corinthians 13: 4-7, 13. Love is patient, love is kind. It is not jealous, (love) is not pompous, it is not inflated, it is not rude, it does not seek its own interests, it is not quick-tempered, it does not brood over injury, it does not rejoice over wrongdoing but rejoices with the truth. It bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things. So faith, hope, love remain, these three; but the greatest of these is love.' So you see, Sara, Nick loves you. He fits this definition to a T."  
  
"I know that he loves me," she replied, saying more in that one breathe than she had for the entire five minutes that Warrick had been sitting beside her. "And I love him. That's why he should forget about getting married to me, because I'm going to make his life miserable, and I don't want to do that. 'Love does not seek its own interests', right?" And before Warrick could respond, she stood up quickly, and said, "Be sure to give Nick back his ring for me, will you?" She walked out, never looking back.  
  
*****************************  
  
Oh the angst!! (It will get better soon, I hope. Oh, and I hope ff.net has fixed up the uploading problem it has)  
  
And just a note, I got all of Greg's facts from this great book called "Useless Knowledge: Answers to Questions You'd Never Think to Ask" they have a website called uselessknowledge.com in case you want to check it out.  
  
Please review! 


	6. Chapter 6

Thanks for all the reviews! That's what makes me find the time to write another chapter (even if I don't feel like it . . .) and not keep you in suspense!  
  
Oh, and another note, I actually don't know the recurrence rate for cancer (I just made up the 50% thing for the purpose of the story)  
  
Please read and review!  
  
**************************************  
  
Warrick had been right about Nick's reaction to getting the ring back. He exploded. "She what!?" Nick yelled, not paying attention to the terrified looks people were giving him as they passed the staff lounge.  
  
Warrick, in the effort to placate his seething friend, said gently, "It's probably the stress she's under, man. You know what she said to me before she told me to give you back your ring?"  
  
"Okay, I don't know, what?" Nick asked sarcastically.  
  
"She quoted 'love does not seek its own interests' back at me, and then she said that you should give up on her or something because she doesn't want to make your life miserable, and that's why she doesn't want to try and keep you. She thinks she might hold you back, or something." Warrick unconsciously moved away from his friend, as though he was afraid of bodily harm.  
  
"Man, I'm not going to kill you for being the messenger," Nick complained when he saw his best friend slowly inching away from him. "So, what you're trying to tell me is that she's called off the engagement because she thinks that she's going to be holding me back from living life?"  
  
"In a nutshell, yeah."  
  
"Since when did you become the psychology expert around here?"  
  
"There was a purpose Grissom kept sending me away to attend those conventions. At least they had some good use."  
  
"Hey guys," Catherine interrupted as she walked in and planted herself on the fake leather couch, "Have you seen Sara? Greg is begging me nonstop to give her this ridiculous necklace, but I can't find her." She held out the outlandish hemp necklace that had wooden beads in fluorescent and unnatural colors with the world's biggest pendant to prove her point.  
  
"You mean Sara's not here?" Nick asked in the most shocked tone that anyone had ever heard him use.  
  
Warrick wrinkled his brow in thought and concentration. "She could be upstairs?" he suggested, although his inflection made it sound like a question.  
  
"Why would she be there?" Catherine responded in bewilderment.  
  
"What if she's not here?" Nick demanded, feeling the beginnings of panic nip at him.  
  
"Who're you talking about?" Grissom asked as he passed by the door, folder in hand, "And why are all of you just sitting there? Get back to work."  
  
"We're talking about Sara. We can't find her," Nick stated simply. "What if she's done something stupid, like throw herself off a bridge?"  
  
"Rule one about forensics," Grissom replied, as though he didn't hear Nick's response, "Never assume." At the sharp look Catherine shot him, the irritated look Warrick gave him and the angry look Nick leveled in his direction, he continued with his lecture. "For one, there isn't a bridge within a five mile radius of the lab and Sara came with you, Nick, and she doesn't have keys to your Tahoe. And for another, Sara's still here."  
  
"Where?" Nick asked desperately, ready to run down the halls as soon as he found out.  
  
"She asked me, demanded actually, not to tell you. Apparently Sara's gotten into a disagreement with you?"  
  
"You could say that," Nick replied, tired of repeating his version of events from the past half-hour.  
  
"Are you planning to patch it up?" Grissom queried, giving his 'thoughtful' look to them.  
  
"Yeah, if I could find her."  
  
"Well, Sara did say that I couldn't tell you where she was, but she never said anything about hinting."  
  
"Grissom, what the heck are you talking about."  
  
"Remember a while back, we were trying to figure out how Mr. Roper died?"  
  
"What?"  
  
"That's your clue. Think, Nicky, what were we trying to figure out?" After giving his "clue", Grissom walked away, not offering any more helpful hints.  
  
"What were we trying to figure out?" Nick asked out loud.  
  
"All I remember is that I was off my case because I left Holly Gribbs by herself at the crime scene," Warrick replied guiltily.  
  
"And Sara was conducting an internal investigation into you, if I remember correctly," Catherine added.  
  
"Yeah, yeah," Nick replied, "So you guys know where you were, but I can't remember where I was."  
  
"Weren't you on the roof of some hotel pitching dummies off of it?" Warrick asked as he narrowed his eyes trying to remember.  
  
"Yes!" Nick cried. Sobering up quickly, he asked, "What does this have to do with Sara?"  
  
"Grissom said that he could only give you a hint. That's his hint," Catherine replied. At the two men's confused looks, she added, "Do I have to spell it out for you? Sara's on the roof!"  
  
"And he couldn't tell me straight because . . ." Nick asked.  
  
"Have you ever had the wrath of Sara turned on you?" Catherine inquired.  
  
"Sort of."  
  
"Then you know that short of dismembering and decapitating him, Sara would have murdered Grissom," Catherine explained, like it was the easiest thing in the world to comprehend.  
  
"She's got a point, man," Warrick also said, "I remember when Sara and I got off to a rocky start. I swear, she was spitting out venom right and left. I was surprised that I was still standing at the end of the day."  
  
"Yeah, and who knew you two could become such close friends?" Catherine asked rhetorically.  
  
"Yeah," Warrick responded, pondering what their next move would be. "Hey, Nick, I'll go up there first, make sure she won't jump off the roof at the sight of you, and maybe make her sane enough to talk. Then I'll call you. Sound good?"  
  
"Yeah, man," Nick replied, "Thanks."  
  
"No problem," Warrick reiterated, as he started for the door. "Hopefully she doesn't pitch me off first."  
  
**************************************  
  
Sara stared out at the Vegas casino lights that were becoming easier to see as the sun began to set. The door to the roof clicked behind her. "Grissom," she warned, "if that's you, don't tell me to come down, I'm supposed to be on leave remember, I don't have to, and don't tell me that Nick wants to talk to me. I don't want to talk to him."  
  
"I'm not Grissom," Warrick's low voice complained.  
  
Sara turned around to see the person she almost considered her brother standing just outside of the door, as thought he was too afraid to move any closer.  
  
"I'm not planning to jump off the roof if that's what you're worried about," Sara answered irritably.  
  
"Didn't think so," he replied with a sigh, "I just didn't want to take any chances. You won't throw me off if I move any closer, will you?"  
  
"No."  
  
"Good, because I don't plan on being the next crime scene." His quip was enough to evoke a smile out of Sara.  
  
"Come here," she said gesturing to the spot beside her.  
  
Warrick did as he was commanded, thanking the stars that she had calmed down since the incident in the locker room. "I told Nick what you said, and I tried to give him back the ring," he started, unsure of where to start.  
  
"How's your relationship with Deb doing?" Sara asked abruptly, not to subtly changing the topic.  
  
Warrick knew that she was trying to employ that tactic, and even though he did want to talk about his new girlfriend, Sara and Nick's relationship took first priority at that particular moment. "Nick wouldn't take the ring back," he continued, as though she never cut in, in the first place.  
  
"Oh," she replied crestfallen.  
  
"You know," Warrick continued, "If you really wanted to break off your engagement to Nick, you would have done it to his face."  
  
"I never wanted to." The response was said so quietly, Warrick had to ask Sara to repeat herself.  
  
"I said, ' I never wanted to'. I want to get married to Nick," she said loudly.  
  
"Does this have to do with your theory that you're going to ruin his life because you have cancer?" Warrick asked incredulously.  
  
"It's not a theory. It's the truth!" Sara screamed. Had Warrick not been prepared for her onslaught of emotion, he might have winced at the tone she was using.  
  
"Sara, you know that's not the truth!" he yelled back. Looking sheepish for his outburst, he said in a more controlled fashion, "You want to know the truth Sara? The truth is, you can't make Nick's life miserable. He wants you in it, no matter what happens, if you get cancer, or end up hideously disfigured. What will make him miserable, is if you will not let him share his life with you. Life is short enough as it is, Sara. You gotta just live it one day at a time. You can not be a control freak, you just have to roll with the punches sometimes, you know?" And while she contemplated his words of wisdom, Warrick took the time to call Nick downstairs, and request that he come up.  
  
Nick came running up the stairs, taking them two at a time. He quietly opened the door, finding Warrick looking back at it, as though waiting for him to materialize. Warrick raised his eyebrows, silently asking Nick if he wanted him to leave. Nick shook his head. It would be in his best interests to keep Warrick up on the roof with them for the time being, since he had been able to calm Sara down twice and could probably do it again, if need be.  
  
"Sara, honey," Nick said quietly as he sat on her other side, "Will you talk to me now?"  
  
Sara shot Warrick a look of pure malice that clearly said, "How could you do this to me?" Warrick just shrugged, not offering any suggestions for his actions.  
  
"What part of Warrick's message did you not get?" she asked Nick wearily.  
  
'At least she's talking to me,' Nick thought with relief. "To tell you the truth," he replied out loud, "I wasn't listening to him. I was more worried about where you had gone." When she didn't answer, he continued, "Sara, you're my world. If you're not going to be beside me in life, I might as well be as good as dead." Sara's head snapped around, trying to assess the validity of his statement. 'At least she's concerned about me,' Nick thought again.  
  
"You won't go all soap-opera-dying-of-heartbreak on me if I don't call our engagement back on, will you?" she asked with more emotion and concern than she had last used.  
  
"If it's the only way that you will listen to reason, then I will," Nick replied, ready to do anything to get her to at least listen.  
  
"Okay, fine, since I do not want to see how you act, I'll listen," Sara answered with resignation. Seeing that she finally wasn't going to run away, Warrick got up silently and headed back downstairs.  
  
"No crime scenes, remember, Sara?" he called, just before he disappeared into the stairwell.  
  
Sara smiled slightly at the joke. Turning to Nick, she said, "Go ahead, I'm listening."  
  
"You sure?"  
  
"Yeah, I owe you that much, at least."  
  
"Sara, you don't owe me anything, and I don't know where you got it into your head that you're going to make my life miserable. Just the thought of you calling all this off on account that you think that marrying me is selfish on your part, makes me sad, but not miserable. Sara, I want to marry you, more than anything in the world, and it WOULD make me miserable if you wouldn't because you think that you would be a burden. You're not, and all I want to do is marry you." Nick looked at her closely. "Can you really say, wholeheartedly and completely truthfully, that you don't want to marry me? Sara, you have to answer me, I'm starting to talk in circles."  
  
She looked at him then, met his eyes. "No, I couldn't say that I don't want to marry you."  
  
Nick was confused. "So you DO want to marry me?" he asked.  
  
"Yes."  
  
"Thank god!" he exclaimed, "Warrick would have a fit if his speech wasn't put to good use."  
  
"Really?"  
  
"Yeah, that and I would have died if you hadn't said yes." Nick pulled something out of his pocket. "Sara, will you still marry me, whatever happens?" he proposed again.  
  
"Yes."  
  
"And you promise to stop thinking that you're ruining my life?"  
  
"I don't know if I can, but I can try."  
  
"That's all I need to hear."  
  
Sara held out her left hand, and Nick slid the thin gold band with a single diamond on it onto her ring finger.  
  
**************************************************  
  
Next chapter, the wedding!!!!!!!!! (I hope I get it into the next chapter.)  
  
A/N: I can't remember Holly's (from the pilot) last name, so if it's not Gribbs, just tell me!  
  
Please review!!! 


	7. Chapter 7

Thanks for all the reviews! (Although there has been a significant decline {hint, hint! ( })  
  
And now, to reward you for all your perseverance through all the angst I have subjected you to, I'm going to give you a fluffy little chapter involving some of their wedding planning woes. Enjoy!  
  
(Oops, sorry, wedding's the next chappy!)  
  
*********************************************  
  
"Sara!" Catherine called to the other CSI, "I hope you don't mind having auburn hair."  
  
"Auburn hair?" Sara echoed, confused by the statement, until she saw what looked like a dead red fox in Catherine's hands.  
  
"Unless you plan on wearing a lacy bandana for your wedding," Catherine shot back kindly. "Personally, I think it would be a very good fashion statement on you. Reflects your personality. Take no prisoners, you know?"  
  
Sara sighed, it was month three into the planning process of her and Nick's wedding, and there were suggestions flying right and left, some of them far more ludicrous than others.  
  
"So, what do you think?" Catherine pressed, as she shoved the wig at Sara.  
  
"Where did you get this?" she asked wearily, eyeing it like it was going to come alive and bite her.  
  
Catherine gave her a big smile. "It's mine. Used to use it back in the dancing days. A very good investment, I thought. That is, until I became a CSI, and I didn't need it anymore."  
  
"Oh."  
  
"Oh is right. You want another wig? I've got black, blond, and maybe brown, as well as a few greens and purples, but I don't think that you'll want those."  
  
"Probably not," Sara replied with a smirk. "Guess I should try this one on, huh?"  
  
"Definitely." Catherine watched with a critical eye as Sara pulled the wig over her bald head. "So," she asked casually, "are you going to have another round of chemo?"  
  
"Hmm," Sara replied noncommittally, "This one isn't too bad, it's not itchy. I guess I'll keep it on." After thinking for a moment, she replied, "Yeah, I have one more round, in about a week, and then there won't be anymore unless the tumor's still there. Radiation's going to keep on going for another year or something, but that's not too bad, I guess."  
  
"I'm sorry Sara," Catherine replied, feeling bad for the younger woman all over again.  
  
"Why should you be sorry?" Sara wondered, "You didn't cause me to get bone cancer, and anyway, I'm rolling with the punches, just like Warrick said. I'm used to the symptoms of chemo by now."  
  
"That's good," Catherine replied, although she sounded a bit dubious. "How's Nick taking all this?"  
  
"Well. I mean, the only thing that's bothering him is the fact that his parents are adamant that we get married in Dallas, and my parents insist that we get married in San Francisco."  
  
"So what are you going to do about it."  
  
"Have a wedding here in Vegas, and that's final. If our parents don't want to come, they don't have to."  
  
"Ooh, she's taking the hard line," Catherine quipped. Sara smiled.  
  
"So, Cath, I get the feeling that you had more to say to me than asking me if I didn't mind auburn hair," Sara said suspiciously, wondering why Catherine was suddenly taking interest in her wedding. Early on, Sara and Nick told everyone that they were going to plan their own wedding, and they didn't want any help. Catherine had been the best out of all their friends, not once throwing out a bit of advice.  
  
Catherine grinned sheepishly, "And you're the one who's supposed to not be able to see through people," she complained, "I guess you learned from the best?" Sara laughed as she pretended to buff her nails on her shirt.  
  
"Okay, Cath, spill it. What did you really want to say to me?"  
  
"Do you have a dress?"  
  
Sara stared at Catherine blankly, wondering what on earth she was talking about. Suddenly it dawned on her. "Oh!" she exclaimed, "You mean a WEDDING dress?"  
  
"No, a sun dress," Catherine responded sarcastically, "Of course a wedding dress! What else would I be talking about?"  
  
"I don't know! I seriously think that the radiation has gotten to my brain cells!"  
  
Catherine had to laugh at Sara's attempt to wheedle her way out of this particular interrogation. "Answer the question, Sara," she demanded kindly, "Do you already have a wedding dress?"  
  
"Um, no?"  
  
Catherine's smile got even bigger, reminding Sara of the cat from Alice in Wonderland. "That's what I thought," the older woman replied sagely. "It seems that a shopping trip is in order, don't you think?"  
  
"No!" Sara moaned as she covered her face with her hands, "give me chemo, give me radiation, or give me another surgery, but don't make me go shopping! I hate shopping!"  
  
Catherine fought to control the urge to laugh at her younger friend. She failed miserably. "Sara," she gasped in between fits of laughter, "You've gone through worse things and you're terrified of going shopping?"  
  
"Let me clarify," Sara replied dryly, fighting vainly not to break out into a smile, "I don't mind shopping, but I'm afraid that I may just break my bank book if I go shopping with you. No offence."  
  
"Sara," Catherine said honestly and quite seriously, "If you don't want to spend too much, just tell me how much you're willing to spend, and I swear I can find you everything you need a dollar under your budget."  
  
"Really?"  
  
"Yeah, it's a talent of mine. That, and interpreting blood patterns."  
  
"Okay, so shopping with you might not be that bad if you promise you can do that."  
  
"I promise. Does tomorrow sound good to you?"  
  
"What! Cath, you've got to give me more time to prepare for it!"  
  
"You make it sound like you're going into battle."  
  
***********************************************  
  
Sara was five minutes late for their little shopping trip. As Catherine waited outside of the mall she wondered if Sara had gone AWOL on her.  
  
As she was deep in thought, the aforementioned person almost magically appeared at her elbow. "Sorry, Cath, but Nick's mom just called me and nearly bit my head off through the phone when I refused to try and convince Nick to have our wedding in Dallas, and I didn't want to hang up on her."  
  
Catherine waved it off, "That's okay, it comes with the territory of being a parent; fight until the bitter end to have the wedding done your way."  
  
"Yeah, Nick said that he had to disconnect his phone, or else he wouldn't have gotten any sleep yesterday."  
  
As they started walking in the mall doors, Catherine asked the question she really did not want the answer to. "So, what's you budget?"  
  
"Five hundred dollars."  
  
"For the dress?" Catherine asked apprehensively.  
  
"No, for all of it: the dress, the shoes, the earrings, you know?"  
  
Catherine literally came to a skidding halt, causing Sara, who had been walking behind her to get in through the door, to crash into her backside. "You've got to be kidding me!" Catherine protested as she turned to face the other woman. "In the seventies, it may have been possible to do that, but not now!"  
  
Sara smiled, making Catherine wonder what she had up her sleeve. "If I remember correctly, you said that you could get everything I would need for a dollar under my budget."  
  
"Yes, I did say that, but that was assuming that your budget was a little bigger than that."  
  
"Oh come on, Cath," Sara replied as she began walking through the mall again, "Think of this as a challenge."  
  
"Oh, this is more than a challenge," she cried, "We'd be lucky to find you a nice dress for that much, never mind anything else. You sure you're not willing to spend a bit more? I mean, your wedding day is that biggest day of your life."  
  
"Exactly," Sara deducted sensibly, "It is exactly one day. Why spend more than I need to?"  
  
"Sara, what am I ever going to do with you?" Catherine complained as she followed the other woman into the first bridal shop they saw.  
  
Eventually, after going in and out of half a dozen stores and some very good debating on Catherine's part, they raised Sara's budget maximum to fifteen hundred dollars. Sara just looked like she was going to get her teeth pulled out without Novocain.  
  
As they were walking silently through the mall, three hours later, completely exhausted, Sara suddenly made a sharp turn to her right. "Sara?" Catherine asked bewilderedly.  
  
"Isn't it gorgeous?" Sara asked in awe, pointing to a simple, but very elegant looking dress in the display window.  
  
Catherine took a good look at it, and assessed that it would look amazing on Sara's tall, slim frame. "Go in and try it on," she commanded.  
  
"How much to you think it is?" Sara asked.  
  
"I don't know, and I don't care. If it costs more than what's in your budget and you can't buy the shoes and other things, I will personally take care of those, so stop worrying and try it on."  
  
"Yes ma'am!" Sara replied, slightly shocked at the forcefulness with which Catherine dispatched her statement.  
  
The same dress was placed into Sara's arms soon afterwards, and she was shown a dressing room. The satin hugged her figure in such a way that she thought that she was being wrapped in a cloud. "Are you planning to come out in the next century?" Catherine called out impatiently. Deciding that it was time for Catherine's scrutiny, Sara stepped out, only to be received with gasps, not only from Catherine, but from a number of other woman who were also loitering around the dressing rooms.  
  
"What? Did I rip it or something?" Sara demanded, worried that she would have to pay for it anyway.  
  
Heads shook mutely. All that Catherine could utter was, "Wow." The figure flattering dress was made of ivory colored satin. The top looked similar to a cocktail dress, in that it had fairly wide straps that came together to form a V in the front, and covered most of the back. It's bodice looked quite snug, but it looked right on Sara, and it flared out at the hip, creating waves of white, sometimes tinged with a bit of pink from the reflections, and came to rest gently on the floor. It pooled a bit on the ground, but that was only because she was bare foot, and even then, it just looked right on her that way. To most of the other woman, it reminded them of Cinderella stepping into the Prince's ball.  
  
A little girl who was trying on a flower girls' dress, asked, with childlike curiosity, "Are you a model?"  
  
Everyone laughed politely at that question. "No," Sara replied, with a smile.  
  
"Oh, that's too bad," the child answered, "Because you sure look like one." After that statement, everyone went back to their own businesses.  
  
"So, Cath, what do you think?" Sara asked, wanting to get an unbiased opinion.  
  
"Two words: buy it."  
  
"Cath!" Sara protested, "You're not being much help!"  
  
"What?" the other woman retorted, "You asked me what I think, and I told you what I think!"  
  
"Fine, fine, so you told me what you think. Does it look nice?"  
  
"Sara!" Catherine looked about two seconds away from beating Sara over the head with something hard and heavy to get some sense into her.  
  
"Okay! Sorry! I guess it does look nice. It's really comfortable too. I think I may just buy it. Could you check the price on the tag for me?"  
  
"Sure," Catherine replied, maneuvering herself so that she was behind Sara. "Okay, let's see," she began, "It's $1000, but there's a sign up at the front that says everything is 25%-30% off. So that would be . . . about . . . $700 to about $750. That's not too bad if you ask me."  
  
Sara looked back from the corner of her eyes, asked Catherine, "So you think it would be worth it to buy it?"  
  
"Sara! For the last time, yes!" Catherine practically screamed. "For god's sake, you looked like an angel in that dress!"  
  
Sara turned around and lifted her hands in a gesture of surrender. "Okay, okay, I was just double checking. No need to bite my head off!" Although she was protesting, she had an irrepressible smile on her face.  
  
"Smart girl," Catherine praised, "You do know when to just give in. Very good."  
  
Luckily for Catherine, Sara did not change her mind on the way to the checkout and didn't have any doubts after they bought the dress. She was also lucky that Sara was so worn out from all the shopping that she didn't put up a fight when they bought shoes and Sara never commented about Catherine's choice for jewelry. Even though she felt like she could fall over at any moment, Sara couldn't keep the smile off her face.  
  
"Cath, I'm a believer," Sara said as they made their way back to the Tahoe, "You really know how to budget shop."  
  
"Thanks. See what a little faith can do for you?"  
  
"Yeah, I know what you mean. By the way, how much did everything cost in total?"  
  
Catherine looked at Sara blankly. "Oh, right. Hang on, I'll add it up." And with that, she pulled out a small scientific calculator out of the glove compartment and began adding up the totals. After checking the adding over twice, she internally groaned. They had gone over Sara's predetermined spending limit. In total, the wedding dress, shoes, veil, earrings, necklace, and new makeup cost $1734.98.  
  
"So, Cath, what's the grand total?"  
  
Catherine held a quick debate with herself. In the end, she decided that it would probably be best if she just told Sara that they were under. "Um, about $1434.98." She hoped that Sara wouldn't notice or comment on the $300 difference.  
  
"Wow," Sara replied, "$65.02 under. And here I was, trying to keep a running total and I got about $1750. But I guess we can't always be too accurate, right? What would the fun in shopping for wedding dresses be then?" The last part was added with a wink.  
  
'Great,' Catherine thought, 'She knows that we went over.'  
  
***********************************  
  
Okay, that's my contribution to your sanities (before you go running around with butterfly nets on your heads crying about how my stories have WAY too much angst for the normal human being . . .)  
  
Next chapter: THE WEDDING!  
  
Please review!!!! 


	8. Chapter 8

Thanks for all the reviews! And as promised, the WEDDING!  
  
(And don't be too surprised by Greg . . .)  
  
***********************************  
  
Grissom, by some divine intervention, somehow made it possible for the all the night shift CSIs and Greg to get the night before the wedding off. Unfortunately for Sara, she would have rather been working in the attempt to keep her mind off of the next day. But as luck would have it, the wedding was going to be in the morning, so she had to sleep for at least a few hours beforehand. Not that she got any sleep anyway.  
  
Catherine, Sara, two of Nick's sisters, Rita and Michelle, and Sara's niece, Andrea, all crowded into the little room at the back of the church. After finally figuring out which bridesmaids' dresses belonged to whom, they had under an hour to get ready and transform Sara for the biggest day of her life.  
  
"Okay, Sara," Catherine, who was the maid of honor looking slightly panicky, started, "What have you got that's old, new, borrowed, and blue?"  
  
Sara and the rest of the bridesmaids looked at her like she had just lost her head, when it occurred to them that she was talking about the old wedding tradition. "Well," Sara began, as she looked herself and her belongings over, "the dress is new. I borrowed your wig; Andrea's lent me her bracelet, which is from my aunt, so it's old. Um, but I haven't been able to find anything blue."  
  
Chaos, due to nerves, ensued. Andrea began running in and out of the door in search of something that they could use. Nick's sisters began rifling through their bags only coming up with a blue ballpoint pen. Catherine was pacing until she saw the aforesaid pen. "That's it!" she cried, "We'll just have to draw something on you with the pen!"  
  
A collective, "What?" issued forth from the mouths of all the other woman in the room.  
  
"I said, 'we'll just have to draw something on you with the pen'. It's blue. That's the last thing we need to conform to tradition."  
  
"Nice," Andrea replied, the first one to get over the shock.  
  
"So," Catherine began, all business again, "where do you want the 'tattoo'?"  
  
Sara thought for a moment, trying to find a place where no one would see it. "How about the inside of my ankle. Flower sound good?" she suggested.  
  
"Sounds good," Rita replied with a smile. She proceeded to draw the little flower expertly onto the inside of Sara's left ankle.  
  
"Okay, now that all that stuff is finished, what do you say we play Barbie with our bride?" Catherine asked, trying to make sure that they were all on schedule.  
  
"Okay," Rita and Michelle answered in unison. Rita began on the makeup and Michelle on Sara's hair, since they were, respectively, a makeup artist and hairstylist. Catherine and Andrea stayed well out of the way of the beautification process, but it didn't hinder them from giving some "helpful" hints.  
  
With a little less than five minutes to spare, they were ready, and were making final checks to make sure that they had not forgotten anything.  
  
************************************  
  
"Will you stop moving, man," Warrick complained to Nick, who was fidgeting, "I swear, cockroaches don't move as much, and they can change direction about 25 times a second."  
  
"Sorry, but you're not getting married in about two minutes," Nick replied, looking at his friend who was seated at the grand piano. He began to shift his weight from one foot to the other.  
  
"Nick. Relax." Grissom ordered from where he was standing, just a few feet away from the anxious groom.  
  
"Yeah, bro," Greg called out from beside Warrick, "You might just fall off the platform if you keep moving."  
  
Nick was about to retort in his own defense, when his father walked up the flight of stairs, put his hands firmly on his shoulders, and said, "Son, stop moving. You're going to make yourself an embarrassment. And then your bride won't want to marry you, and I for one, would be very disappointed if you don't get married today." Nick was so shocked that he stood stock still, and barely moved a muscle.  
  
"That's better," Grissom commented.  
  
******************************************  
  
The wedding, by all means, was not what one could consider "traditional". For one, half of the groomsmen were up by the altar playing the wedding march, and they didn't have a flower girl, since Lindsay, Catherine's daughter, could not come, and they did not know of any other little girls who would be able to do that.  
  
The first notes resounded through the small church, and Sara didn't even try to fight her smile. She recalled how she and Nick both decided that they did not want to hear the traditional wedding march because it was too cliched, and how she proposed Canon in D Minor. Nick had just shaken his head, and said that the song was also too cliched to be used on their special day. When Sara asked for a suggestion, he had suggested "Jesu, Joy of Man's Desiring", or at least, the musical accompaniment. And here it was, with Warrick playing the piano score, and Greg, surprisingly, playing the violin. That fact reinforced the knowledge that they actually didn't know that much about their favorite lab tech. When they had approached Warrick with that favor, Greg had begged almost immediately to play it too, and that's when they found out about his classical musical training.  
  
"Honey," Sara's dad asked as they maneuvered themselves into the aisle, "Who picked this music? It's heavenly."  
  
"Nick did."  
  
"You mean your man from Texas? I thought all he knew was country music," her dad replied in shock.  
  
"That's what I thought too, until I saw his collection of classical CDs mixed in with an array of everything else from reggae to folk music."  
  
"I'd have to say you found yourself a winner, Sara."  
  
"I know."  
  
They marched slowly down the aisle, camera flashes going off every couple of seconds or so. Sara could make out Nick's face by that time, and was pleased to see the emotions that were so evident on it. She looked over to the right, where Warrick and Greg were playing. Warrick looked intent on playing the piano music perfectly, and it did sound amazing, but Greg was inspirational. His eyes were closed, and he swayed with the music, putting so much heart into it that Sara could practically feel the passion he had for it as the sweet sound poured out of his instrument.  
  
They got to the altar, and Nick eagerly took Sara's hands as her father "gave her away".  
  
The whole ceremony was a blur for both of them, except for the exchange of their vows, which they had taken a bit of liberty in and rewrote parts of it. Their vows remained clearly etched into their memories.  
  
"I, Nicholas Arthur Stokes, take you, Sara Anne Sidle, to be my lawfully wedded wife, in sickness and in health, in richness and in poverty. I promise I will love you until the day I die, and I will cherish you forever."  
  
"I, Sara Anne Sidle, take you, Nicholas Arthur Stokes, to be my lawfully wedded husband, in sickness and in health, in richness and in poverty. I will love and cherish you for as long as god gives us to be together and for the rest of eternity."  
  
They vaguely recalled Warrick handing them each their rings and slipping them onto each other's ring fingers, but they were completely in a daze, that is, until the priest said, "You may kiss the bride." Nick snapped out of his reverie and promptly did just that while all the camera shutters went off.  
  
*********************************  
  
Warrick tapped on his wineglass with his knife loudly. "Can everybody be quiet," he called out, "I have to make my speech before I get stage fright." Everyone shared a hearty laugh at that. As soon as he had everyone's attention, he continued, "For two or three years, Nick and I had been battling it out over who had a better chance at winning Sara's heart. Needless to say, it's obvious that Nick did, since he every so cunningly went behind my back and made his move first. I remember how I would not leave them alone, so much so, that our friend, here, Greg, started calling us the CSI Trinity. I guess I'm going to have to find some other people to do that with. These two are taken." A new wave of laughter resounded through the hall at Warrick's last comment. Picking up where he left off, he said, "Anyway, I remember when Nick proposed to Sara. And I thought it was one of the worst times to do it. The rest of us had just gone at it with Sara and criticized how she never stopped working and never sleeps, and Nick just decided it was time. So, I wonder, how will Nick cope with Sara now that they're married? She probably going to want to do some things while all Nick will want to do is sleep." Warrick said the last part with a huge wink. It took a few seconds to register in the minds of everyone present, but when they did get it, the older people just nodded their heads in agreement, and the teenagers laughed. Sara and Nick were just grateful that he didn't mention that was when Sara fainted due to the tumor on her spine. Warrick continued on for a few minutes more, stopping only when his watch started beeping, indicating that five minutes was up. "And that's all I have to say," Warrick said, "I'm glad it lasted five minutes, I was worried I'd have to dance for all of you if I forgot what I was saying." People laughed at his odd humor. "And on that note, I believe that everyone can hit the dance floor once the bride and groom have had their first dance." Nick took Sara's hand and guided her to the middle of the floor. Music poured out of the speakers.  
  
I could lose my heart tonight  
  
If you don't turn and walk away  
  
Cause the way I feel I might  
  
Lose control and let you stay  
  
Cause I could take you in my arms  
  
And never let go  
  
I could fall in love with you  
  
I could fall in love with you  
  
I can only wonder how  
  
Touching you would make me feel  
  
But if I take that chance right now  
  
Tomorrow will you want me still  
  
So I should keep this to myself  
  
And never let you down  
  
Chorus:  
  
I could fall in love with you  
  
I could fall in love with you  
  
And I know it's not right  
  
But I guess I should try  
  
To do what I should do  
  
But I could fall in love with you  
  
I could fall in love with you  
  
So I should keep this to myself  
  
And never let you down  
  
Chorus:  
  
I could fall in love with you  
  
I could fall in love with you  
  
And I know it's not right  
  
But I guess I should try  
  
To do what I should do  
  
But I could fall in love with you  
  
I could fall in love with you  
  
**********************************************  
  
And there you have it ladies and gentlemen! The wedding!  
  
And as for Greg and playing the violin, I just had to take that artistic license and do that (weird ideas are running rampant in my head!) And what I meant by his eyes being closed, etc., well, have you ever seen those REALLY really good musicians? That's what I mean.  
  
Love it, hate it, or want to say hi,  
  
Please review! 


	9. Chapter 9

Thanks for all the reviews on the wedding! And no, I'm not going to do the honeymoon, because my story is G/PG at most, and I don't think that the events surrounding a honeymoon would fit into that category . . .  
  
Oh, and because I forgot to tell everyone what the song was in the last chapter (I think) it's "I Could Fall in Love" by Selena.  
  
So, here we are, 3 years after the wedding . . .  
  
*****************************************************  
  
Nick was looking intently into the microscope and didn't notice Sara come in until she blew into his ear. "Jeez!" he yelped as he jumped up, almost knocking the slide off the microscope, "Don't ever do that again!"  
  
"Sorry," Sara replied, not quite looking apologetic, "but your reaction was worth it."  
  
"It wouldn't be worth it if you got suspended for that stunt!"  
  
"Good point."  
  
"I know, my dear, I always make a good point," Nick replied, turning around fully to embrace his wife of three years. Just as they leaned in for a kiss, who else but Warrick showed up at the door.  
  
"Hey, guys, I have two things to say to you. One, get a room. Two, don't do this on company time," Warrick complained. Since Grissom was at some extended bug convention for about a month, and Catherine had two weeks off, he was the acting night shift supervisor at that moment.  
  
"Sir yes sir!" Sara wisecracked, "We promise never to do that again, sir!" Warrick waved it off with a grin.  
  
"You're lucky it's only me who catches you two doing that, if the director saw you, he'd be out for blood."  
  
"Don't we know," Nick muttered, remembering the time when they had given each other a quick, very chaste kiss before going to their separate crime scenes, and how afterward, they got the earful of their lives from the director.  
  
"Yeah, he chewed me up about taking two seconds to finalize some things with Deb," Warrick co-sympathized.  
  
"Speaking of my best friend," Sara interjected, "When are you planning to propose to her? I have it on good authority that she's waiting for you to do something."  
  
"Yeah, man," Nick added before Warrick could respond to Sara's inquiry, "You two've been going out for what, longer than Sara and I have been married? Make your move already!" Nick thought for a moment, and then said, "No wonder I got Sara, you are the world's biggest procrastinator."  
  
"Thanks, man, as if I didn't know that already," Warrick replied sarcastically, although he did have a grin on his face. "I have the ring. I just didn't know if she would be ready to take it to the next level, you know."  
  
"Warrick, I hate to break it to you," Sara answered with mock seriousness, "but she's been ready to take it to the next level a month after you two started going out. My god, the only reason she puts up with your thick- headedness is because she's head over heels in love with you!"  
  
"Really?" Warrick asked in amazement.  
  
"I knew it!" Nick exclaimed, "My best friend, my best man, and uncle-to-be of my unborn baby is completely, and utterly clueless!"  
  
"Uncle-to-be?" Warrick repeated. "Are you guys not telling me something?"  
  
"Something what?" Greg asked as he passed them, samples in hand ready to give to the lab tech.  
  
"So how was your crime scene?" Nick asked in the hopes of getting everyone off the subject of babies.  
  
"Good. I knew there was power in being a CSI," Greg replied proudly, "At least no one is treating me like a rookie anymore."  
  
"By the way, congratulations on becoming CSI level 2." Sara congratulated.  
  
"Thanks," Greg replied with a blush, "You were the one who inspired me to go from lab tech to CSI."  
  
"Greg. Can. It," Nick warned, though he was somewhat amused by Greg's never-ending flirting with his wife.  
  
"Like I ever do," Greg shot back as he rounded a corner, but before Nick could say anything else, Greg said, loud enough for everyone's benefit, "Director Nicholson, how are you today, sir?" They didn't hear the reply, but it was enough of a hint to tell them to get back to work.  
  
"So, Sara," Warrick began as he and Sara walked out of the lab, all business again, "I have the results that Hodges gave me. I thought for a second that he was going to attach himself to me like a leech." He allowed himself a small joke before continuing, "Anyway, the material we couldn't figure out was diamond."  
  
"Diamond?" Sara echoed, "It was nearly black with a ton of imperfections. Do you mean that it's industrial use diamond?"  
  
"Maybe. It could have been used for computers."  
  
"Therefore placing our suspect, who's a computer engineer, at the scene of the crime. Transfer of materials." They turned left and headed toward the break room where they could discuss the case sitting down. As luck would have it, they nearly bumped into the director, who was loitering suspiciously by the room.  
  
"Well, hello, Sidle, Brown," Director Nicholson said, "And how are we doing today?"  
  
"Fine sir," Warrick replied for the two of them. "We just got a huge break in our case. We need to follow it up. If you would excuse us?" He asked before the director could get a word in edgewise.  
  
"Of course."  
  
Instead of going to the break room like they had intended, Warrick and Sara turned right and headed towards Trace and Hodges, Warrick saying that Sara should see the sample.  
  
"So what is this about being an uncle-to-be?" Warrick questioned, focusing his "interrogation look", one she could never lie to, on her.  
  
"I'm not pregnant if that's what you're asking."  
  
"What? So then what was Nick talking about?"  
  
"Nick and I are trying to have a baby," Sara explained slowly, as though she was talking to a child.  
  
"Oh, okay, you don't have to talk like I'm two or anything, you know," Warrick complained again.  
  
"Yeah, but considering you don't have a clue about your life outside work, that's cause for speculation," Sara shot back as he waved her through Trace's doors. "So, Hodges, what do you have for us today?" she asked the bothersome lab tech.  
  
"I already showed it to Mr. Brown," the other man said like he was bone weary.  
  
"Well, I want Sara to see it too," Warrick replied, exercising his temporary power over the teacher's pet lab tech.  
  
"Right, of course, boss." And with that, Hodges pointed to a certain microscope. "I had to do a hardness test on it, but it's real diamond, just not the nice shiny clear stuff people like."  
  
Warrick just rolled his eyes at the first part of his statement, and sighed at the second. "Hodges," he asked, "Since it doesn't seem to have any value in jewelry, what would this type of diamond be used for?"  
  
"Well," he began, "Since I'm so learned in lots of different subjects-"  
  
"To the point, please, Hodges," Warrick interrupted before the lab tech sounded anymore like Greg, only with a more annoying ring to it.  
  
"Right, boss, as I was saying, it could be used from everything from drill bits to electronic components."  
  
"Would it be used in computer hardware?"  
  
"Probably."  
  
"Okay, thanks." Warrick and Sara both walked out, only to hear Hodges say, "Anytime boss!"  
  
"You were right about the leech metaphor," Sara whispered to Warrick as soon as they were far enough away from the Trace lab.  
  
"Now I really pity Grissom when Hodges has information for him," Warrick replied, "He probably stayed at the bug convention for a month just to get away from him."  
  
*****************************************************  
  
Nick woke up to the sound of retching. "Sara?" he asked in confusion, "Where are you?" His answer came in the form of a heave. His mind slowly cleared. "Sara!?"  
  
"In here," came the weak reply from the bathroom.  
  
Nick burst through the door, very concerned about his wife's health. "Sara, you okay?" he asked tentatively.  
  
"Do I look okay?" she snapped back.  
  
"No. But you still look gorgeous, even if your head is in the toilet bowl," Nick replied with a grin. She smacked him on the thigh, before she looked queasy again and threw up. "Maybe you have a 24 hour thing?" he suggested, brushing her hair away from her face. "Stomach flu maybe?"  
  
"I don't think this is stomach flu," Sara complained, sitting against the wall.  
  
"What do you think this is, then?" Nick demanded. His wife, usually in a good mood in the mornings, never sick, was acting like someone else was in her body.  
  
"I might be pregnant."  
  
"What?"  
  
"I said, 'I might be pregnant."  
  
"I got that part. How do you know that you might be?"  
  
"I missed my period, and I never do that."  
  
"It could just be work-related stress. I mean, the entire team is being stretched to the limit."  
  
"That's what I thought too, but then I took that pregnancy test last night before I went to bed, and it was positive."  
  
All Nick could do was gape at his wife. "So, that means . . ." he trailed off, unable to form the words.  
  
"Yeah, Nick," Sara replied, "You're going to be a father."  
  
*************************************************  
  
Sorry for such a short chapter, but I didn't have time to write over the weekend.  
  
And I have no idea what industrial diamonds are used for (since I hate research, unless it would be completely strange if I didn't or something. I mean, come on, it's fanfic, and I can exercise my right to artistic licenses . . . Okay, back to what I was saying) And I do know a few things about what diamonds can be used for, so I'm not completely making up the thing about diamonds in computers and stuff.  
  
And for everyone who (pretty much) hated me when I made Sara have cancer, I would advise you to stop reading here. (As in, this is the end) You'll know why in a few days, that's if you read on . . .  
  
PLEASE REVIEW!!! 


	10. Chapter 10

Thanks for all the reviews! And this is about a month after Sara found out she was pregnant.  
  
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"Stokes," Nick said as he put his cell phone to his ear. "Warrick? Yeah, what's up? Should you ask her now? Where are you? Oh. Then, yes, of course you should ask her now. Yeah, stop procrastinating, man, and you might actually keep your nerve."  
  
"Let me guess," Sara started, still intent on looking at the road, "Warrick is having second thoughts about proposing."  
  
"Yeah, he and Deb are in some fancy restaurant, and he's asking if he should pop the big question now."  
  
"So, what, he called you in front of her?"  
  
"No," Nick answered with a grin, "He's not that dense. Or at least I hope he's not that dense. He excused himself to go to the washroom."  
  
"Good, because Deb told me that if he doesn't propose to her in the next week, she was going to take matters into her own hands," Sara said, looking away from the road for a split second. As much as Nick protested, she insisted that she drive to the doctor's office on the grounds that he might get lost looking for it, and she was better with direction.  
  
"As in break up with him?"  
  
"No, as in propose to him herself."  
  
"Well, if I recall, that's what got Warrick coming back for more. The fact that she's tenacious as hell. Reminds me of you, actually."  
  
Sara grinned back; one of her seductive grins only reserved for him, and made a right turn. They stayed in that comfortable silence until Sara finally found a parking spot, and with the perfectionism and anal retentiveness associated with Grissom, backed the Tahoe in until it was perfectly spaced and perfectly parallel with the parking stall lines.  
  
"Sar, as much as I love you to death, that is the one thing I can not stand about you," Nick complained, referring obtusely that it had taken her about five minutes to park just so.  
  
"Well, you didn't have to marry me," Sara chided, as she undid her seatbelt and hopped out of the driver's side of the truck.  
  
"Are you kidding?" Nick asked flabbergasted, "And miss out on all the things I love about you, which, may I mention, far outweigh the bad."  
  
"That's good, for a second there I though I would have to make you sleep on the couch tonight."  
  
"Really?" Nick gave her his best impression of a beaten puppy, complete with the eyes and the pout.  
  
Sara burst out laughing, so hard in fact, that a few other couples just looked at her like she lost her mind. "Sorry," she called out, "but my husband is making jokes, and in my heightened hormonal state, I'm uncontrollable." And then she burst out laughing at her own joke. This time, however, the other people followed suit.  
  
"Let me guess, hun," a heavyset woman who looked to be about forty started, as she walked over to them, "you're pregnant."  
  
"Yeah."  
  
"I pity you."  
  
"Pardon me?" Sara asked, taking offence to the statement. She hated being treated differently just because something was happening in her body.  
  
"Yeah, I pity you," the woman continued, not noticing Sara's change in tone and posture. "You're going to go through nine months in purgatory and another twenty years in hell."  
  
"Really?" Sara asked, her tone becoming menacing.  
  
"Yeah, hun, I speak from experience. Had seven of my own. And it was pure torture. I swear, god put me on earth to drive me insane."  
  
"Well, I'll take it into consideration to have only one child then," Sara replied icily.  
  
"You know what you should do," the other woman suggested, "You should get rid of that baby while you still have a chance. Abortion's the only humane thing to do. Don't want it to ruin your life, right? Don't want to make it miserable for living, don't you?"  
  
"Who said anything about my baby ruining my life?" Sara growled. Nick moved closer to her side, to pull her back should she decide to jump the other woman.  
  
"No on did, hun, but I know your type," the nameless woman countered, "You're more concerned about building a career, and a baby would just screw it all up."  
  
"And since when did you become the expert on how babies will affect us?" Nick demanded, suddenly very uncomfortable with this woman's choice of words.  
  
"I went to med. school. I'm an abortion doctor. And before you say anything, I don't do it for the money, I do it to make my patients lives better." The doctor dug around in her pockets and presented them with a card, "My office is just down the street from here. Feel free to come in and talk."  
  
"Well then," Sara managed to choke out in her rage, "I'll let you know that you're wasting your time, because you wouldn't make our lives better. I'm planning to have this baby whether or not anything is wrong with it, and I'm willing to put my career on hold indefinitely for it. You're looking at the wrong people to solicit business from." Before the doctor could say anything else, Sara and Nick turned their backs on her and walked towards the medical building.  
  
"What does your husband think?" the woman demanded as they continued walking.  
  
"I think it's great, and it couldn't have happened at a better time!" Nick yelled at her, with a menacing glint in his eyes. They didn't hear the response because the doors closed behind them.  
  
"Hi, we're here to see Dr. Feindstat?" Sara said to the receptionist between clenched teeth.  
  
"Okay. Just have a seat, and the good doctor will call you in a little while," the receptionist, Julie, replied, not miffed by the tone she was hearing, "I guess you met 'Dr. Smith', the abortion doctor who verbally abuses patients in the parking lot?"  
  
"Yeah," Nick replied, seeing that Sara refused to acknowledge the pushy woman, "Does she do that to everyone who parks?"  
  
"Uh huh, I've gotten used to the murderous looks and tones that patients greet me with because of her," Julie replied in resignation. "So, if you have a seat over there," she pointed to some comfortable looking sofas to her right, "the doctor will be free to see you shortly."  
  
"Thanks," Sara and Nick replied in unison, the former more loosened up after the talk with the receptionist. Julie gave them a smile in return before turning her attention to the ringing phone.  
  
They didn't have to wait for anymore than twenty minutes, and they spent most of the time looking over baby magazines that were conveniently placed at end tables on either side of the seats. The other times they talked to other couples and commiserated over the treatment they received at the hands of Dr. Smith.  
  
"Mr. and Mrs. Stokes?" Dr. Feindstat called out.  
  
"Here," Nick replied as he and Sara stood up and made their way over to the obstetrician/gynecologist.  
  
"Hi," he said, stretching out his hand for a handshake. That formality done, he continued, "So, first baby?"  
  
"Yeah," Sara replied with pride.  
  
"Congratulations! And may I take this time to apologize for Dr. Smith's behavior in the parking lot."  
  
"You know her?" Sara asked in shock.  
  
"Unfortunately. I graduated in the same class with her. She's always held the notion that pregnant woman should get their babies aborted because they are going to overpopulate the word and grow up in misery to boot." He began walking down the short hallway to the office and motioned for them to follow.  
  
"But she has seven children," Sara stated in confusion.  
  
"That's where she justified her theories," Dr. Feindstat explained. "Luckily, not all OB/GYNs share her ideals. I, for example, am here merely to ensure that mother and baby are healthy. "  
  
"That's a relief," Nick sighed.  
  
*****************************************  
  
"Ooh, that tickles!" Sara exclaimed as Dr. Feindstat pressed the ultrasound head to her bare stomach.  
  
"Sorry, most woman complain that it's cold," he apologized. "You don't strike me as the ticklish sort."  
  
"Well, let's put it this way: I could literally be tickled to death."  
  
"And I know that for a fact," Nick, who had been quiet the entire time, piped up.  
  
"You two will grow up to be fine parents," the doctor praised, "Okay, if you look very hard, you might just be able to make out the shape of the embryo. See?" he asked as he pointed to a lighter region on the screen.  
  
"You mean that blob?" Nick asked pointing, with his forehead wrinkled in confusion.  
  
"Yes, that 'blob' is your baby." Dr. Feindstat couldn't resist the urge to crack a smile at Nick's unflattering description.  
  
"It's a cute blob," Nick replied with an awed tone, "and to think, you and I made that, Sara."  
  
"Yeah," Sara murmured, as much in awe as her husband.  
  
Dr. Feindstat twisted a bit to look at the screen better, and inadvertently slid the ultrasound machine up to Sara's rib cage.  
  
"Ahh, hey!" Sara protested. When the doctor didn't respond, she asked quietly, "Is there something wrong?"  
  
"Just a second, bear with me, alright?" the other man asked, in a tone that suggested that he wouldn't take no for an answer.  
  
"What's wrong, doc?" Nick asked, catching the doctor's worried tone.  
  
"I'm not sure yet, maybe I'm just being paranoid. You're medical charts indicate that you had cancer before, am I right Mrs. Stokes?"  
  
"Yes," Sara answered, feeling nauseous, "On my spine between my shoulder blades. It threatened to spread to my lungs. Why?"  
  
"There's a mass in the vicinity of your lungs that I can't identify," Dr. Feindstat said worriedly, pointing to a nearly black region at the base of Sara's left lung.  
  
*****************************************  
  
And I leave you with a cliffhanger. Please don't be mad at me for subjecting Sara to another round of cruel and unusual treatment (gets on knees and gives you the puppy dog eyes like Nick would do)  
  
And I know that it would probably be nearly impossible to see a baby with a regular ultrasound machine at one month's gestation, but just pretend that you can for the sake of this story, okay?  
  
And as for Dr. Smith, she's just the embodiment of all the pushy teachers, salespeople, etc. I have met over the years.  
  
Please review! 


	11. Chapter 11

Thanks for the reviews, and yes, the baby's going to make it  
  
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Nick started pacing the waiting room of the oncology department. Dr. Feindstat, not taking any risks, had promptly called Dr. O'Connor and set up a meeting between the two of them to discuss his findings. The day afterwards, Sara was taken in to have a CT scan and confirm or rule out the possibility of cancer.  
  
"Nick! How are you man?" Warrick asked as soon as he stepped out of the elevators with Deborah rushing behind him.  
  
"Is Sara alright?" she asked breathlessly.  
  
"Yeah, a little shook up, that's all," Nick replied, "but we won't know anymore until the CT scan." Trying to find a lighter topic, he asked, "So, Deb, did my man propose yet?"  
  
"Finally," Deb stressed giving Warrick an exasperated look.  
  
"I'm sorry, baby, but as Nick puts it, I'm absolutely clueless," Warrick apologized, holding out his arms to give her a hug.  
  
"I forgive you," Deb said with a smile as she returned the gesture. They were soon engaged in a liplock.  
  
"You guys, as much as I hate to break this up," Nick began, "Get a room."  
  
"You're going to be rubbing that in, aren't you?" Warrick demanded.  
  
"Oh, yeah," Nick replied with a smirk.  
  
"Mr. Stokes?" the CT technician called out from the other end of the room.  
  
"Yes?" Nick called back walking to the other man.  
  
Warrick and Deb couldn't hear what was going on, but judging by Nick's change in posture and facial expressions, they knew that the news wasn't good.  
  
"What's up?" Warrick asked in a subdued tone of voice when Nick came back to them.  
  
"They're going to do a biopsy, because they can't tell if it's just a cyst or cancer. Again," Nick replied, looking defeated.  
  
"Don't worry," Deb said, trying to reassure him, "Medicine is quite advanced, and Sara will most likely make a full recovery, whether they operate to remove the tumor, or bombard it with chemo and radiation."  
  
"Thanks, for that Deb," Nick replied, "but not to sound like I don't believe you, but it's still unfair. I mean, I don't know how much more of this Sara can take. And the stakes are higher now."  
  
"What?" Warrick asked in confusion.  
  
"Sara's pregnant. Five weeks."  
  
Deb's eyes almost immediately misted over with tears. "Oh my god!" she whispered. "That's horrible."  
  
Nick opened his mouth to answer, but Dr. O'Connor, Sara's oncologist, interrupted, "Sorry, but Nick, I need to talk to you privately."  
  
"If it's all the same to you, I would prefer if you told our best friends too. This is Dr. Deb Steinbaum and Warrick Brown, my coworker. They have every right to know what's going to happen too."  
  
"If you want," the doctor replied simply. Looking at each of them in the eye, he continued, "As you probably heard, Nick, we can't tell what we're looking at by just going over the scan, and the biopsy is just a precaution. Can I ask you something?"  
  
"Sure."  
  
"When was your wife's last checkup for recurrence?"  
  
"Last year, um the fifth of July, I think. She was going to see our doctor for her annual checkup in a few days, actually."  
  
"And she checked out normally?" Dr. O'Connor grilled Nick.  
  
"Yeah, that's what Dr. Enriquez said." Nick confirmed. After thinking about it for a moment, he added, "Why?"  
  
Dr. O'Connnor sighed. After rubbing his face with his left hand, he continued, "The tumor, as I will call it for lack of a better term, is too large to have just started growing a few months ago. It would have needed at least a year to get to the size that it is now."  
  
"You're thinking doctor incompetence?" Deborah asked, wide-eyed in disbelief.  
  
"I'm not ruling it out," the other doctor countered, "It may have been too small to detect anyway, or it didn't start forming until after the visit. Who knows anymore?"  
  
"And Dr. O'Connor, there's something else I think your should know about," Nick said, "Sara's pregnant."  
  
"Yes," the doctor sighed, "this could get very complicated, very fast. Dr. Feindstat informed me yesterday."  
  
"Oh, right."  
  
"Now, if you don't have any objections, Mr. Stokes, I would like to perform the biopsy today. I have a space cleared, and all I need is your signature," he continued, holding out a form, stating that Nick was in agreement that Sara could go under the knife. He didn't hesitate to do so.  
  
********************************************  
  
"This is bringing back some memories," Warrick commented, trying to lighten Nick's mood. "At least this time the biopsy isn't going to take three hours and the old lady from hell isn't here."  
  
"Yeah," Nick replied without interest.  
  
"Hey, man," Warrick started, "You know that Sara can handle this again if she has to, and that baby is half Sidle, so it's going to kick butt in any way it knows how."  
  
"Yeah," Nick replied again, looking at his watch. Seeing that Deb was coming back to them, he asked her, "Do you know when they'll be done?"  
  
"In about twenty," she replied, "they're just sewing her up and stuff, so just sit tight."  
  
"Spoken like a doctor," Nick commented with a smirk.  
  
"Hey! That's my fiancée you're dissing!" Warrick complained, "Don't make me come over there to make you apologize!"  
  
"Now you know how I felt when you wouldn't leave me and Sara alone, man. But then again, I now know what if feels like to be the third wheel," Nick conceded. After a slight pause, he turned to Deb and said, "Sorry, nerves are getting to me."  
  
She just waved it off. "Hey, I know how it feels to have no control over a situation. I see it everyday, and I know what if feels like to wait for an eternity. Just ask Warrick."  
  
"Oh thanks, guys," Warrick muttered, "Gang up on me, why don't you?"  
  
That little encounter was enough to make Nick crack a smile. A tight smile, but a smile no less.  
  
"That's better," Deb beamed.  
  
"Hey guys, miss me?" a familiar voice cut in on their conversation.  
  
"Sara!" Nick exclaimed, "How are you honey? I've been so worried!"  
  
"I've seen lots of better days, but with you beside me, I know I can handle it all." The tail end of her sentence was smothered by a deep kiss from Nick.  
  
"I hate to break this up," Warrick interrupted, "but in the words of my dear friend Nick, here, 'Get a room',"  
  
"And that's exactly what they are going to get," Dr. O'Connor broke in, "Well, more or less, at least for a few hours to let the anesthetics wear off and we've got the results."  
  
**************************************************  
  
Dr. O'Connor walked slowly into the room where the four friends were gathered. Nick took one look at the doctor, and knew that it was bad news. "Doc?" he asked slowly, afraid of the answer.  
  
"It's malignant. Again," the doctor whispered sadly, "It's N stage, and we can't remove it without killing Sara."  
  
"Oh, god, no!" Nick yelled, as his knees buckled beneath him. Warrick caught him just in time and literally manhandled him into the nearest chair. Sara starting weeping uncontrollably and Deb wrapped her arms around her, in the vain attempt at comfort.  
  
The doctor continued softly, like he was saying a eulogy. "I've taken the liberty of contacting Dr. Feindstat, and he's on his way over as we speak."  
  
"Thank you," Warrick replied for the visibly shaken couple. "Could you give us some time alone?"  
  
"Of course." And leaving the same way he came in, Dr. O'Connor shut the door gently behind him.  
  
********************************************  
  
"Mr. and Mrs. Stokes?" Dr. Feindstat called out gently into the darkened room after he managed to convince Warrick and Deborah to leave for a few minutes.  
  
"Yeah?" Nick's tired voice greeted him. He and Sara were so emotionally exhausted, that they didn't bother with manners.  
  
"Is it all right if I turn the lights back on?"  
  
"Go ahead," Sara replied.  
  
As soon as he saw the couple, Dr. Feindstat's heart went out to them. They looked so lost, lying next to each other on the narrow hospital bed, barely blinking, even at the change in the lighting, staring at the wall, as though something, an answer, perhaps, was meant to materialize from it at any second.  
  
"Get any sleep, you two?" Dr. O'Connor questioned as he and his colleague stepped through the doorway and into the room, shutting the door behind them.  
  
"We tried," Nick replied, when he realized that they expected an answer of some sort.  
  
"Good," Dr. Feindstat said soothingly. "We," he said, indicating himself and Dr. O'Connor, "have been going over the CT scans and medical charts. We're trying to find a plan of action that could save you, Sara, and your baby. Unfortunately, try as we might, there is no way to save both of you. One of you, yes, both of you, no."  
  
"What?" Sara demanded weakly, turning her head slightly to be eye to eye with her specialists.  
  
"You have two options," Dr. O'Connor explained, getting right to the point. "Surgery is out of the question, you'd both die. But you do have the two other options. One is that we bombard the tumor with as much radiation and chemo as we can, but that means losing the baby, or we can just not pursue any treatment, and the baby will live, but it comes at a high cost to you. You may not live to even see the birth of your baby."  
  
"The way I see it," Sara replied, "my baby's damned either way. If I'm not alive, it can't live."  
  
"I was going to go into specifics, actually," Dr. O'Connor said gently, "You see, chemo and radiation would give you a few more months to live than if we didn't treat you."  
  
"How much longer?" Nick demanded, suddenly interested.  
  
"We don't expect much, but-"  
  
"How. Much. Longer?" Nick repeated, stressing each word.  
  
"A couple of months. I'd have to say about a year at most. Without treatment, Sara would live maybe eight more months."  
  
"Oh," Nick whispered, slipping into silence again.  
  
"What about my baby? It will still die," Sara demanded.  
  
"Not necessarily," Dr. Feindstat interjected, "At eight months, it's fairly safe to deliver a baby. It may be underweight, and premature, but it has a high chance of survival. And if you want, there is always the option of keeping you on life support until the baby comes to term. Sort of like a biological incubator. That's if you wanted to do that."  
  
"Sara, you are not going to die for this baby," Nick insisted with such ferocious intensity, it scared her doctors. "Save yourself."  
  
"I'm going to die, anyway, Nick, even if I have a few more months." That revelation hit Nick like a ton of bricks.  
  
"You can't leave me alone."  
  
"If I have the baby, you won't be left alone, you'd have it."  
  
"Sara-"  
  
"No. Listen, Nick. You know what was going through my head the entire time Drs. Feindstat and O'Connor were talking? Corinthians 13."  
  
"Corinthians 13?" Nick repeated. "What the hell are you talking about?"  
  
"Love is patient, love is kind, it does not seek its own interests, it believes all things, it bears all things. Not that the verse is necessarily in that order, but that's the general gist of it. I love our baby, Nick, and if that means I have to die for it, I will do so gladly. I will not be a hypocrite like Dr. Smith. I'm giving this baby every chance it can get, whether or not you support my decision," Sara answered firmly with conviction.  
  
"You're not going to change your mind, are you?" Nick asked, knowing that Sara would not listen to any of his arguments.  
  
"No. I'm sorry Nick, but you have to understand where I'm coming from. Remember when we got the case where five people beat a man to death, and Warrick asked me if I could take a life?"  
  
"Yeah," Nick replied, remembering the conversation like it was yesterday.  
  
"And I said that I couldn't, and I meant it then and I mean it now."  
  
"Sara, I love you, and even if I think this is a half-brained plan, I'll support whatever decision you make," Nick replied, suddenly seeing the sense in what Sara was saying.  
  
"Thank you, Nick," Sara said softly, "I knew there was a reason I loved you."  
  
"So, it's all settled then?" Dr. O'Connor asked, worried that he was spoiling the moment with his words.  
  
"Yeah," Sara replied, remembering the doctors that had been standing there quietly tears both threatening to cascade down their faces. "I don't want treatment, and I want to be put on life support if I don't survive until my baby's come to term."  
  
"You're sure?" Dr. Feindstat asked on more time, as though she might change her mind again.  
  
"Yes. I want my baby to have every opportunity in this world."  
  
"Okay," he replied, looking at Dr. O'Connor, "I need you to sign here, here, and here." He held out a sheet and a pen. Sara didn't hesitate to sign.  
  
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I'm so sorry! I've done it again, and now Sara's going to die (but the baby's going to live, I promise!)  
  
Please review! 


	12. Chapter 12

Thank you all so much for your reviews! They mean a lot to me, and I do admit, I'm treading on "thin ice" with this story, and no one's really seriously flamed me, and I really appreciate it. And I know that I'm probably picking at old wounds with this story, so I apologize for any hurt you may be feeling because of it. And here is the last chapter, and I warn you now, Sara is going to die, so if you don't think you could read it, don't, because, I'm seriously not going to back out now.  
  
And A Bloom and SaxophoneFornesicschic05, my condolences for losing people close to you to cancer. My mom had cancer, and a lot our family friends had cancer, and one of my friend's mom died from breast cancer. As I said way back in chapter 1, this story is a sort-of dedication to all of them.  
  
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Sara was the love of my life. That's the only way to put it. I remember how after we got the news and she made her decision, she said to me, "Nick, you better not treat me any different than you have for the past three years, or I'm going to have to kick your butt." Well, with a command like that, how could I do anything else but follow it?  
  
We told the rest of our friends, minus Warrick and Deborah, since they already knew, and the reaction we got was what we expected. Catherine started crying again, uncontrollably hysterical, and when she finally calmed down, she hugged Sara and said, "You're really brave to do that for your child. Welcome to the world of motherhood; everything is for the kid." Sara and I just nodded, there really wasn't much else we could think of doing. Greg, who we had called into the break room, didn't say anything, he just moved to us, and gave us the world's biggest hug. Okay, I take that back, he did say, "I'm here. So, if you need to rant to somebody or something, I'm here." Grissom had actually become lightheaded and almost fell over, and couldn't speak for what seemed like an eternity. After all, Sara is like his daughter, and I'm like his nephew. Warrick was sitting in one of the chairs with his hands folded in front of his face, looking suspiciously like he was praying.  
  
Sara continued working in the field until she was about six months pregnant, when the combination of fatigue from pregnancy and cancer took their toll. After that, to keep her mind occupied, she stayed at the lab, sometimes helping the lab techs with DNA samples, or helping Grissom with his never ending mountain of paperwork. She lasted about a month before her condition became so grave, that Drs. O'Connor and Feindstat thought that it would be better for both her and the baby if she was admitted to hospital. They were both grown men, both raised the same way: keep the stiff upper lip, and all that, but every time they spoke to Sara or me, they would always get tears in their eyes. It was kind of touching actually.  
  
Deb and Warrick eloped after Sara went to hospital, their reasons being "We want Sara around to tease us about married life before anything happens."  
  
I guess that was a good thing, because now Sara had something to look forward to talking about when they visited her at odd hours, in between work and home. Grissom managed to convince our dictator of a director to give me time off with pay until the inevitable happened, so I was by her side 24/7.  
  
The eighth month of her pregnancy came and went, and Sara was still alive, barely there, but still fighting for her life with everything she had. She amazingly carried the baby to term, gave birth the "natural" way, or as close to it as possible. I was overjoyed. Here we were, a complete family, and we even had the picture to prove it. Dr. O'Connor said that it might be possible to treat Sara with chemo and stuff, since she lasted ten months, instead of the predicted eight, and she might actually live longer. That same night, Sara took a turn for the worst. I was lucky that I called Warrick and Deb, as well as the rest of the CSI team.  
  
Sara passed away without the prophetic messages or heart touching soliloquies you hear in the movies, or in novels of any kind, and I sort-of expected that. I mean, this is Sara, my wife, we're talking about, after all. She hates all that sentimental "crap" as she calls it. She just gave me this little smile, said, "I'll be waiting for you," closed her eyes, and she flatlined. I had been expecting that for months, but when it finally happened, I literally lost it. I lunged at her, as though I might still be able to catch her alive one last time, but there was no hope now. I clutched at her like she was a lifeline, held her in my arms, and cried my heart and my soul out into her hair. The nurses were considerate, when I look back in retrospect. They just disconnected her from all the tubes and wires, closed the doors, put a sign on them saying, "Do Not Enter" and left the two of us alone. Then they waited, while I tried for hours to make sense of all of this, until I was ready for them to clean her up.  
  
We held her funeral a week later in Tamales Bay. Everyone who was her friend came, even Grissom, Dr. Robbins and Jim Brass, who challenged their respective bosses to fire them for going to a loved one's funeral. And just like he did three years earlier, for a happier occasion, Greg played "Jesu, Joy of Man's Desiring" on his violin. It was almost painful to watch him, as he dipped and swayed with the music, tears running obliviously down his cheeks and he didn't make a move to wipe them off, even when he was done. Warrick tried to play the piano accompaniment, but he never lasted past the fifth measure.  
  
At the reception, everyone came up to me, and said, more or less, "My condolences." By the time the last person said it, it didn't have any more weight or validity, as though they were just saying that for the formality of it.  
  
"Why do the most wonderful people in the world die young?" I asked myself out loud.  
  
"Because they've served their purpose here on earth, young man," an older woman answered me. She looked vaguely like Warrick. "I'm Warrick's grandmother, Mrs. Angela Johnson," she added, confirming my doubts.  
  
"Thank you for coming," I managed to murmur.  
  
"It was no trouble at all," the woman, who looked like she was in her eighties or nineties replied, "Warrick always said that you three were like family. Called the CSI Trinity or something?"  
  
"Yeah," I replied with a slight grin, remembering the happier times, "Yeah, that was our nickname." And just that memory alone made me break down again.  
  
"Here, let me take your baby," Mrs. Brown told me. "You know," she continued, "I knew this wise man, a bit younger than myself, and he told me something once that gave me a whole new perspective on this topic of death. Are you going to listen to what I'm going to say?" When I nodded yes, she said, "This man said to me, 'Death is like a boat, when it disappears over the horizon, people don't realize that it's got a destination, and people are waiting for that ship.' So, what I mean to say, young man, is that you'll see your wife again, because some day you will set sail and she'll be waiting for you."  
  
"Thank you," I replied, and I really meant it. This old woman gave me a whole new way to look at all this in a few words.  
  
Warrick came up to us then. "So I guess you met my grandma, huh?" he asked heavily. Digging into his suit's pocket, he pulled out a CD case. "Sara asked me to give this to you," he said. I was had our wedding picture on the front, and numerous love songs on the back. Warrick continued again after composing himself. "She said that you should listen to it when you're ready."  
  
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It has been ten years, and the pain of losing Sara has not diminished, but somehow I managed to move on with life. Our son, James Phillip Stokes, and I live in San Francisco now, so that we can be close to Sara and her parents. It's ironic, really, when I go out with James and single women begin hitting on me, because they find it attractive that I have a child with me, and the only person I wish would flirt with me, is the one person I can't have: Sara. And speaking of irony, I still work at a crime lab with the SFPD, but so does Warrick, who moved his family out here a few years after I did. Greg does too, because he couldn't stand being the only one of the original group left in Vegas. Catherine and Grissom both moved to Miami, to work at the crime lab there. I guess the memory of Las Vegas and all its implications were just too much for all of us.  
  
I had the day off, and I was bent on cleaning up our den, because it looked like a war zone. I had finally managed to put all the CDs in alphabetical order, when that one CD caught my eye. It was the one I did not have the strength to listen to, the one Sara asked Warrick to give to me. And again, sounding like a broken record, irony. These were all love song, and I looked at this cover so many times, I knew the titles off by heart. "Amazed", "Because You Loved Me", "Everything I Do", "Forever And For Always", "From This Moment On", "Hero", "More Than Words", "Surrender", "To Where You Are", "Truly, Madly, Deeply", "Trust Me, This is Love", "Unforgettable", "Tears in Heaven", "I Could Fall in Love" (Our wedding song), and "I Will Always Love You". Deciding that I better do this now, I summoned all my inner strength, and put into the CD player. I had expected music to pour out, but instead, I heard Sara's voice. I was mesmerized by it, and she said a dedication and an explanation before each song. By the time I got to the end, I was crying hysterically.  
  
"Dad!?" James asked worriedly as he stepped into the den, "Are you alright!?" I couldn't answer, as much as I wanted to. I hated worrying my son this much, but I was rendered helpless by the grief that came crashing back at me in waves. "I'm calling Uncle Warrick," James pronounced decidedly when I didn't respond again.  
  
Five minutes later, Warrick came crashing into the room. "Nick, you okay?" he asked. By this time, I had managed to get a hold of myself.  
  
"The CD," I stated simply, "Sara was talking on it."  
  
"Yeah," he replied, "She managed to twist Archie's arm and get him to compile a CD for her. I guess I should have told you that she would be speaking on it, huh?"  
  
"Yeah, that would have been helpful."  
  
"I'm sorry, man, I didn't realize it would have taken you this long to listen to it. But Sara made me swear not to tell you, or else she would haunt the rest of my life." Warrick gave me a lopsided grin.  
  
I had to grin back, remembering Sara threatening to do that years earlier. "She was always like that," I replied, "All spit and fire, but with the world's biggest heart."  
  
"Who, mom?" James asked. I had forgotten James was still standing in the room.  
  
"Yeah," I replied, still halfway to reality.  
  
"Dad, can I ask you a question?" James proceeded to ask with the utmost caution.  
  
Warrick sensed that this was a big family moment, so he stood up, and told us that he would be going now.  
  
As soon as he was gone, James proceeded on with his question, "Dad, why did mom have to die from cancer?" His eyes started to fill with tears for the mother he loved, but never saw.  
  
I patted to the spot beside me on the couch, and wrapped my arms around his shoulders. "Because she loved you so much, she decided to give up her life so that you could be born," I told him simply. I got the feeling that Sara approved of my answer.  
  
THE END  
  
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SaxophoneForensicsChic05, Emily, adpi24, skyler, CandaceFabulous, cRaZyPiXiE, Missy Jane, Sprinkles143, chimaera-104, krisnina77, Wyatt, ljae, A Bloom, oceanwave, Sara Sidle Stokes, Scuzmoll, spikes_storm, PeTiTeCaT, RK9, SAR, oOoOo, Sally, Maura Tierney, Heidi, felicity, nikkd03, Chaos, drvvh, lilybelle80538, and forensicsfan:  
  
Thank you so much for reading my very heavy, angst ridden story.  
  
Okay, I now I really know how much this story must have affected a lot of you. I was crying when I wrote this last chapter.  
  
Thanks so much again for the reviews, and please review this chapter too. 


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